By: Kady Ruth Ashcraft
Let ‘s cut to the chase. We both know you ‘re sitting on the toilet at work and you ‘re on your phone reading this article. Congrats. If it makes you more comfortable, we can pretend I ‘m writing this from a toilet.
Anyways, it ‘s wonderful that you ‘re able to escape for a few minutes, enjoy the peace and quiet of the bathroom stall (unless Taylor from accounting is sighing on the toilet seat next to you, why are they sighing? are they okay?) and have your pants off. That is a true and unrivaled privilege, which segues neatly to the focus of this article which is that some people don ‘t have such privileges that allow them to use the bathroom in peace.
In North Carolina, Mississippi, and Tennessee laws have been recently passed that aren ‘t allowing transgender people to use the bathroom of the gender they identify with. The false fear behind these laws is that transgender people will be in these bathrooms preying on children, instead of, ya know, pooping and peeing. Who knows where they handle that business?!
That rampant fear, which is unsupported by a single actual encounter, has created one job, however.
Hankering for more bathroom cop because using public bathrooms isn ‘t uncomfortable enough? Well then why don ‘t you visit those states where your personal rights are infringed upon to the point stores can refuse you service based on what kind of genitals you like to put your mouth on.
You can ‘t go visit now, you ‘re at work, remember? You should probably get back to your desk soon. But if you were so inspired by these hateful and discriminatory laws to tell people where they can pee and do that other potty act that girls aren ‘t allowed to talk about, here ‘s a real certified creep you should actually ban from using public bathrooms.
Focus your hate towards people like Ted Cruz and other lawmakers who ‘ve decided they ‘re experts on where people should be taking a stinky shit. Since these experts have zero qualifications, feel free to name yourself an expert and take a shit all over their hateful backwards laws.
Okay, now back to work! Remember to wash your hands!