By: Jenny Nelson
7 Less Demanding Summer Alternatives To Beach Bod
With summer fast approaching, it might seem like every babe and Bob is getting their bod bikini-ready. But what if you take issue with a person subjecting themselves to months of training and dieting simply to satisfy an antiquated set of problematic ideals like a busty chest, flat abs, and curvy ass? Or maybe you just don ‘t like sand? Here are 7 new looks ideal for destinations that are NOT the beach that you should look into this summer.
Catholic Camp Bod
- dusty knees from many installments of outside prayer
- flexible fingers for if you ‘re doing “Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors, and here are the people”
- sweaty, slightly stinky pits
Restaurant With Outdoor Seating Bod
- lightly tousled hair
- legs that fit under table
- presentable, expressive face for communicating with waiters
Ice Cream Parlor Summer Job Bod
- chubby tummy
- chilled, dry handskin
- long tongue for licking deep into cones to get the ice cream out of the bottom
Attending Pool Party With Shirt On Bod
- no rules about swimsuits since you ‘re the dad so you won ‘t be swimming
- hands that are good for gripping the steering wheel when driving kids to the pool
- height greater than deepest part of the pool
Log Ride Bod
- big, wet, baggy raisin skin
- hands straight up in the air to express enjoyment
- perfect vision since glasses are inconvenient on log rides
3D Movie Theater With Air Conditioning Bod
- tired elbows that require adequate arm rests
- slippery fingers impervious to sticky popcorn salt
- perfect vision since glasses are inconvenient at 3D movies
Ran Into A Yellow Jacket Nest And I ‘m Allergic Bod
- itchy, red, and bumpy all over
- watery, bloodshot eyes
- closed up throat that ‘s difficult to call for help through
