By: Funny Or Die
13 Teen Choice Awards Winners

The Teen Choice Awards Show was scheduled for last night and, for the 17th year in a row, it happened! We ‘ve compiled a complete list of who won the coveted surfboard trophies below!
Hang 10, teens and non-teens!

Best Woman: HILLARY CLINTON!

Best Man: ORLANDO BLOOM!

Most Likely To Use the Surfboard: MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY!

Best Song: ANY ACOUSTIC COVER OF R. KELLY “IGNITION (REMIX) ‘ by YOUTUBE!

The WTF OMG LIT AF THOT CUCK of the year: ALEC BALDWIN!

Best Cellphone Plan: SPRINT ‘S UNLIMITED DATA, TALK, AND TEXT (3-10 LINES FOR ONLY $30/MONTH)!

Best Book: KANYE WEST / TAYLOR SWIFT TWITTER FEUD!

Best Meat Cut: TENDERLOIN!

Best Former Teen: MICHELLE WIE!

Best Alternative Teen: MALALA YOUSAFZAI!
