By: Jackie Jennings

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5 Highly Evolved PokeMEN Every Woman Under 30 Should Catch!

Wokeazard

This water type Pokeman carries a dog-eared copy of The New Jim Crow in his back pocket. His first question is “What gender pronouns do you prefer. ‘ He ‘s white but knows more about racism than any minority. Commonly found near thrift stores complaining about their ‘oppressively gendered racks ‘.


Feministazoid

The Feministazoid is an aggressive fire type Pokemon who lifts, drinks lots of Muscle Milk and will talk to you all night about the wage gap. He wears sleeveless #ImWithHer tees to the gym and refers to his penis as “she ‘. Is frequently found utilizing the parkour stations in public parks.


Dadlax

This highly evolved creature obsesses over his children with the zeal usually reserved for caricatures of Jewish mothers. He speaks exclusively in baby talk and is training to be his town ‘s first male doula. Can be found outside Brooklyn day care centers wishing outloud that men could lactate.


Pansexualrus

Pansexualrus love to ‘fuck ‘ and to use the word ‘fuck ‘ very casually. They love intercourse and hate people. Can be found in bars that identify as ‘speakeasies ‘ making wry comments about the state of the media in America.


Letoloid

Letoloids are characterized by their beautiful hair, impeccable bone structure and defiance of all categorization. They could be classified as a many different kinds of Pokeman and yet, no category seems completely appropriate. Can be found playing disgusting pranks on co-workers.

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