By: Pitch

9 Useless Super Powers

Pitch, Funny Or Die October 10, 2016

With some super powers, you could save the world. These are not those powers.

Ability To Converse With Dinosaurs

Can Always Predict Which Horse Will Come Fourth

Korn-Style Angry Rap-Scatting

Flight, But Only While In Planes

Visibility

Distinguishing Ska From Reggae

The Ability To Heat Up Bisque Without A Stove Or Microwave

Has Dignity While Wearing A Fedora

Glowing Butt

Illustrations By Dennis Jackson

Front Page No Video Originals Regular Source: WP All Import

Colbert Welcomes The Black Keys and Vampire Weekend for a “Sell-Out-Off”

Funny Or Die January 12, 2011

If there’s anything Colbert likes, it’s corporate shilling.

Front Page Originals Politics Regular Source: WP All Import

FAQ: Secret Russian Submarine

News!, Funny Or Die October 22, 2014October 1, 2021

The Swedish military is continuing their search for the source of a Russian distress signal they received last week in their coastal waters, possibly from a covert Russian submarine. Russia so far has denied any knowledge of the source of the radio signal.