By: Pitch
9 Useless Super Powers
With some super powers, you could save the world. These are not those powers.
Ability To Converse With Dinosaurs

Can Always Predict Which Horse Will Come Fourth

Korn-Style Angry Rap-Scatting

Flight, But Only While In Planes

Visibility

Distinguishing Ska From Reggae

The Ability To Heat Up Bisque Without A Stove Or Microwave

Has Dignity While Wearing A Fedora

Glowing Butt

Illustrations By Dennis Jackson