By: Alex Pearson

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Who Are Your Favorite Halloween Monsters Voting For?

With Halloween just around the corner and Election Day only a few days after that, it ‘s the perfect time to ask the only folks who ‘ve been called monsters more than the candidates themselves who they ‘re supporting this election.

Count Dracula

‘As a lifelong mirror-dodger, I can look past both candidates ‘ transparency issues. However, I do see Donald Trump as the bigger threat, especially in terms of stealing more wives from my village. ‘

Frankenstein ‘s Monster

‘Clinton tries hard to be real human. Like me. I vote Clinton. Wait, there is Green Party? ‘

The Wolf Man

‘Still undecided ‘ One part of me can relate to Clinton ‘s paranoia and desperate attempts at concealing a certain side of her nature. Another part of me identifies with Trump ‘s temperament and predatory tendencies. ‘

The Invisible Man

‘Gary Johnson. He gets me. ‘

The Creature From the Black Lagoon

‘First of all, don ‘t call it the Black Lagoon. It ‘s called Atlantic City. Second, definitely not Trump. That creature from the orange desert stiffed me thirty thousand bucks. ‘

The Mummy

‘I don ‘t like the way either campaign has been digging things up, but I guess I can sympathize more with Clinton ‘s private tombs being raided by foreign meddlers. Plus, I really want to see the curse she surely unleashes on them. ‘

Freddy Krueger

‘Jill Stein. I can identify with someone who only has power in people ‘s dreams. ‘


‘I know who you want me to say, but I ‘m not going to indulge you. ‘


‘Yeah, sorry. Too obvious. ‘

The Devil

‘I somehow need both of them to win. Or else I have to refund someone a soul. ‘

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