16 Predictions For What Obama Does After He Leaves Office

With the final debate over and the election just weeks away, it ‘s finally starting to hit us that Obama won ‘t be the president forever. Here ‘s our predictions for what B.O.* does P.O.**

*Barack Obama
**Post-office

• Becomes the first president to sign an exclusive shoe-deal with Nike
• Starts a podcast where he and Joe Biden watch every episode of Cheers together
• He and Michelle remain in Washington, DC, so that Sasha can continue sexually experimenting with boys in her current school
• Works on increasing his hamstring flexibility
• Has a big yard sale to unload some items he accrued in the White House including extra scissors, broken nuclear launch button, souvenir tees from Cuba, etc.
• Belatedly thinks of some good comebacks that would have really shown John Boehner what was up
• Gets really into needlepoint
• As part of an ownership group, buys the NBA ‘s newest expansion team, the Seattle Birth Certificates
• Learns to make a good risotto
• Looking for another low-stress way to make money, teaches classes on Constitutional Law at the University of Phoenix Online
• Prolly gon ‘ smoke just a LIL weed
• Spends more time with Katie and Rebecca, his daughters from a previous marriage
• Finally watches all of Six Feet Under (as President he was already required to watch the finale)
• Goes on Oprah and jumps on the couch
• Sells Bo on eBay
• One thing ‘s for sure: you know he ‘s gonna mess up where all the plates and utensils get put in the kitchen