What Your College Major Says About You

Business

You like money.

Literature

You hate money.

Engineering

You never lose at Jenga.

Math

You ‘ve fucked a calculator.

Political Science

You ‘d let Bernie Sanders punch you in the face and consider it an honor.

Computer Science

Your parents and grandparents call you every time they can ‘t get on the internet. You never answer the phone.

Dance

You ‘re the first one on the dance floor at a wedding, Bar Mitzvah, or funeral. You ‘re okay at Jenga.

Philosophy

You named your dog Nietzsche and get angry when people ask why. You don ‘t believe money exists.

Astrophysics

You invited Neil deGrasse Tyson to all of your birthday parties and don ‘t even regret when he shows up, drinks all the booze, and makes out with your mom.

General Studies

You ‘re still in college.

Writing

You ‘re writing a 500 page novel about Jenga. You hate money.