Best Questions To Ask Your Ouija Board

Is my dad in the spirit world or just ignoring my texts like usual?

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What ‘s the WiFi password at this Panera?

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Have you seen Lost?
Follow-up: Really?

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Is Casper truly a friendly ghost or just like “friendly ‘ to your face, but talks shit about you behind your back?

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Are you a hot spirit?
Follow-up:Like a 9 out of 10 or what?
Follow-up: Well, can I talk to any 9 out of 10 spirits?

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Why is my Panera order taking so long to make?

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Is Casper talking shit about me?
Follow-up: Whoa, do a lot of people not like me?
Follow-up: Why the hell not?

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Is that my dad working at this Panera?

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Does the spirit world have television?
Follow-up: So why haven ‘t you watched Lost?
Follow-up: Who said it sucked?
Follow-up: Casper ‘s a real asshole, isn ‘t he?

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Is Tupac really dead or just ignoring my texts like usual?

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My Panera order tastes funny, did someone spit in my sandwich?
Follow-up: Was it my dad?

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Is God real, and if so, is God hot? Like at least a 9 out of 10?

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When am I going to die?
Follow-up: How?
Follow-up:Who kills me?
Follow-up: Why would my dad do that?
Follow-up: Casper told him to?
Follow-up: Casper fucking sucks.