By: Evan Waite

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This Eavesdropper Agrees With Your Wife

Jake couldn ‘t help but overhear your conversation on the bus. Even more so once he moved to a closer seat. Jake was just pretending to be on the phone. He was listening to you and your wife talk. Jake thinks your wife is making a lot of good points and would like to chime in on her behalf.

*Jake agrees that if you ‘re going to be late, you have to call, or at least text your wife. She worries. It ‘s not about trying to control you. She just wants to make sure you ‘re not lying in a ditch somewhere. Stop dismissing her feelings. She says you always do that.

*You need to make more of an effort to be civil to her friends, whose names Jake didn ‘t catch. Every comment Jake has heard you make about them so far has been negative. Jake thinks it stems from your insecurity. Your wife ‘s friends are apparently an important part of her life, and you need to let them in emotionally. They ‘re not going anywhere.

*When your wife said you needed to stop biting your nails, Jake could not have agreed more. They both think your cuticles are a mess.

*Jake didn ‘t care for your tone either, and thinks your wife was right to call you on it. It ‘s not just the words that matter, but how you say them. Sometimes Jake thinks you don ‘t even hear yourself.

*Your wife said “I love you, ‘ but you just grunted. Jake feels you should have said, “Love you more, ‘ and then given her a kiss. At the very least, you could have responded, “Right back ‘atcha babe. ‘ That ‘s what Jake would have done if he had a wife.

*Jake also thinks you should have shaved. It doesn ‘t matter if you ‘re just doing errands. That ‘s no excuse for looking like a slob.

This is Jake ‘s stop, but he ‘ll be back on the bus tomorrow and hopes to pick this up where you left off.

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