By: Pitch
10 Excellent Ways To Get Your Brain Functioning In The Morning
Butt chug your coffee
Unplug it and plug it back in
Slap your head repeatedly while muttering, ‘Think, dipshit! ‘
Just lay there on your fucking phone until you ‘re gonna be the same 10 minutes late for work you always are
Replace your alarm clock with a full-grown badger
Tell people you meditate
Set your house on fire when your alarm goes off
Hide breakfast in a ball you must interact with to shake it out
Half-finish a crossword puzzle
Try to limit yourself to 7 beers the night before
