By: Pitch

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10 Excellent Ways To Get Your Brain Functioning In The Morning

Butt chug your coffee

Unplug it and plug it back in

Slap your head repeatedly while muttering, ‘Think, dipshit! ‘

Just lay there on your fucking phone until you ‘re gonna be the same 10 minutes late for work you always are

Replace your alarm clock with a full-grown badger

Tell people you meditate

Set your house on fire when your alarm goes off

Hide breakfast in a ball you must interact with to shake it out

Half-finish a crossword puzzle

Try to limit yourself to 7 beers the night before

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