By: Alex Pearson
Message From Dead Celebrities Of 2015: “Okay, Let ‘s Not Go Overboard About 2016. Last Year Sucked, Too”
We get it. 2016 sucked. Sucked big time.
A lot of terrible stuff happened, and a lot of great people died. It ‘s okay to complain. It ‘s fine to vent. It ‘s certainly encouraged to celebrate and remember those we ‘ve lost. We understand, but at some point, you start to highlight your relatively underwhelming responses during some other pretty devastating years. You know, like last year.
Just so you know, this isn ‘t the first year awesome people died. So when you go on like this, we start to notice. We may be biased and maybe just a little sensitive, but where was all the outrage at 2015? Why ‘s 2015 not personified as a horrible bully too?
Yeah, we ‘re jealous. Sue us. That ‘s right, you can ‘t, because we ‘re dead.
Sure, Prince rocked. Bowie was out of this world, but what about Leonard Nimoy and Christopher Lee and Rowdy Roddy Piper? We ‘re talking Spock and Saruman and Hot Rod. Yeah, Merle Haggard and Phife Dawg were cool dudes, but then Stuart Scott and B.B. King weren ‘t exactly nerds.
We know. We know. We ‘re being petty. Next time, we ‘ll all remember to die in a year an insane person is elected president.
This is not to take away from the legacies of Muhammad Ali or Leonard Cohen or Alan Rickman or Arnold Palmer. We shouldn ‘t forget about Gene Wilder, Gary Shandling, John Saunders, or Florence Henderson. Wait, Alan Thicke and Craig Sager just died?
George Michael too? No. Just no.
And now Carrie Fisher?
Never mind. You ‘re right. 2016 sucked more.
Sorry to bother you,
The Dead Celebrities of 2015