What Should You Do With All Those Muscles?

Congratulations! You ‘ve been working out a lot, and now you have large muscles. But what should you do with them?

Pick Up Heavy Things

Let ‘s put those big muscles to work! Get a heavy box, and lift it over your head. It doesn ‘t matter what ‘s in the box. That ‘s not the point. You can also hoist a big rock. Just as good.

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Flex on Facebook

A lot of your old classmates don ‘t even know you have yoked delts! Luckily, this is an easy fix. Take a bathroom selfie with your muscles greased and visible, then disseminate that photo. A backwards cap is okay, as long as it ‘s slightly askew. Make sure large tubs of Creatine are visible in the background.

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Stand There Looking All Big and Shit

This one is easy! Just mill around and look jacked. You ‘re huge, bro!

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Flex So Hard You Burst a Blood Vessel in Your Nose

That ‘s how you know you ‘re getting a good flex. All our bodybuilder buddies say so.

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Kick a Ball

Big muscles make balls go far. That ‘s the first law of physics.

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Eat Them if You Get Stranded in the Andes

Not that your obliques would make for a great meal, but they could keep you going in a pinch. C ‘mon, have a nosh. Eat your bicep.

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Fight Them

When muscles get too powerful, they try to overtake their host body. It ‘s crucial to form an alliance with your bones now, before the war.

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Thank the Lord Loudly on the Bus

For it is He that plumped your delts.