11 Surefire Tricks To Never Smoke Again

Always be covered in gasoline

Join a human centipede

Only smoke underwater

Build a time machine, go back in time to the day before you started smoking, and kill yourself

Start a petition to rename cigarettes ‘baby wieners ‘

Replace one cigarette in the pack with a tiny stick of dynamite

Die from lung cancer

Have J. K. Simmons scream in your face ‘Not my Marlboro! ‘

Move somewhere really windy so you literally can ‘t ever light a cigarette

Admit that camels are not good role models

Smoke a pack of cigarettes while watching your parents have sex

Hire Peyton Manning to fire a football at your throat every time you light up

Cut off your hands