11 Surefire Tricks To Never Smoke Again

Always be covered in gasoline

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Join a human centipede

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Only smoke underwater

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Build a time machine, go back in time to the day before you started smoking, and kill yourself

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Start a petition to rename cigarettes ‘baby wieners ‘

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Replace one cigarette in the pack with a tiny stick of dynamite

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Die from lung cancer

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Have J. K. Simmons scream in your face ‘Not my Marlboro! ‘

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Move somewhere really windy so you literally can ‘t ever light a cigarette

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Admit that camels are not good role models

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Smoke a pack of cigarettes while watching your parents have sex

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Hire Peyton Manning to fire a football at your throat every time you light up

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Cut off your hands