By: Evan Waite
*Black Americans are twice as likely to be arrested on drug charges as whites, despite the fact that whites use drugs at comparable rates.
This phenomenon has been well documented by federal data that this ignorant police horse has never even taken the time educate itself on. All it seems to care about is clip-clopping around town and eating oats. Shaking your tail around does not absolve you of your complicity in this broken system.
*Privatizing prisons has incentivized locking more people up for greater periods of time.
Private prisons also routinely cut back on staff training in order to maximize profits, which leads to a less safe environment for both inmates and employees. This is indefensible, you complacent beast. Shame on you for not having the intellectual capacity to understand what money is.
*Left-handed people are significantly more likely to have their homes seized by law enforcement
Ok, this one isn ‘t true. But we whispered this obvious falsehood into the police horse ‘s ear the other day, and it didn ‘t say one word to dispute it. In fact, it snapped at our cheek, which made us drop our ice cream cone.
*Police horses are little bitches they don ‘t allow to carry a gun
You ‘re a mode of transportation, not a cop. They don ‘t even let you come inside the police station where it ‘s warm. Also, human officers routinely fart on your back.
*Less than 1% of police horses have seen Robocop
True, the effects look a little dated, but the movie still holds up. Skip the 2014 remake though. It has a solid cast, but it ‘s a total dud.
*Between 1973 and 2016, 156 people who had been sentenced to the death penalty were subsequently determined to be innocent
This is state-sanctioned murder, police horse. You have blood on your hooves.