By: Pitch

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Common Cold Cures That 100% Actually Work

Swallow two discs of Norton Antivirus

Have a friend shrink themselves to the size of a bacteria, get in a proportionally miniature submarine, enter your bloodstream, and battle the virus in hand to hand combat

Eat a lemon like it ‘s an apple

Carve the infection from your body by committing Seppuku

Wait 3 to 85 days

Hang out at the ER until you feel better about how minor your illness is


Forward the cold to five people in the next 24 hours

Have a healthy person cough on you

Lay down and play dead until the cold loses interest in you and leaves

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