By: Ryan Haney

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NO-pen Mic: Hero Trump Refuses To Be Lib-tard Punching Bag At WHC

Last weekend, President Trump announced on Twitter that he would not be attending the annual White House Correspondents Dinner on April 29.

Look at those REAL AMERICAN TWITTER EGGS getting behind OUR President.

These days, President Trump can ‘t even take a piss without hurting some Snowflake ‘s feelings, so of course when Lib-tard Nation found out that Trump would be skipping out on the FAKE NEWS JERK-FEST, they blew a complete butt gasket.

For those of you who don ‘t know, the Correspondents Dinner is a sick ritual performed every year by Washington ‘s corrupt media elite where they slither their cold, scaly bodies into tuxedos and ball gowns and pat themselves on the back for cramming a bunch of lies down the throats of honest, hard-working Americans.

And just in case that last sentence didn ‘t make you want to choke yourself out with Old Glory, every year the WHCA trots out some ‘comedian ‘ to do a stand-up smear campaign on anyone who hasn ‘t swallowed their socialist agenda hook, line, and sinker.

In 2006, Stephen Colbert went in on Dubya just because Iraq was turning a little sour. No class!

By pulling a no-show, President Trump is finally telling these hacks where they can ‘schtick ‘ it.

Trump knows that he doesn ‘t deserve to waste one of the twelve nights a year Melania is contractually obligated to spend with him being raked over the coals by some lefty propagandist just because he has the HUGE BRASS BALLS to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

Did they ‘send up ‘ Lincoln when he made freedom for all peoples the law of the land? Did someone do their ‘tight five ‘ on FDR when he pried Europe loose from the grip of fascism? So why does Trump get ‘roasted ‘ for banning desperate war refugees from our country because they ‘re Muslim? It ‘s basically the same damn thing, sheeple!

The only ‘stand up ‘ that Trump should have to endure is when he poses for his own statue!

And it ‘s not like Trump can ‘t take a joke. Yes, he has a psychological obsession with being perceived as an ‘alpha ‘ (his finest quality!), but the guy definitely LOVES to laugh at himself. Trump is always willing to take a good ribbing about how much money he has, how beautiful his wife is, how beautiful his daughter is, or how he won the election. What a sport!

This women are both SO beautiful and SO related to Trump. The jokes/compliments write themselves!

But if you think that whatever Hollywood yuckster the WHCA brings to the mic will have enough decency not to cross the line from ‘things that Trump likes about himself ‘ into ‘politics ‘ then you ‘re the one living in ‘La La Land, ‘ sister.

Honestly, all these coastal cucks crying over Trump being the first President in 36 years to ditch their nerd prom should be thanking their lucky stars that Trump is going to be far away from that dais, because we all know that The Donald ‘s comebacks bring new meaning to the words ‘American Carnage! ‘

Just ask those liberal low-lifes over at Saturday Night Live whenever they get the never to let Alec Baldwin take a piss all over our flag on national television.


Yikes! Try not to cut yourself on that razor-sharp wit, Alec!

And we all remember when Trump really stuck it to that disabled reporter with a spot-on impression? Comedy GOLD.

So our red hats are off to you, Mr. President, for RSVP ‘ing to WHCA with a resounding ‘F-U-C-K No! ‘ Just know that all us DEPLORABLES out there don ‘t think that a real leader should face his critics head on. A REAL leader sees a joke at his expense and runs far, far way!

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