By: Jason Flowers
This week ‘s tweets are a bit of a paradox unto themselves.
im very jealous of schr ‘dingers cat in that I want to be dead but I also don’t want to be dead , and boxes are fun
‘ josh (@ruinedpicnic) March 9, 2017
Bumper Sticker Idea:
My Other Car is Another Car
‘ James Douglass (@Jamdug) March 6, 2017
you can tell from the free chips offered on airlines that Frito Lay was like fuck you guys
‘ Dan Harmon (@danharmon) March 14, 2017
I love BDSM (Beautiful Dogs So Much)
‘ CC (@chloevcamp) March 10, 2017
God: Make them strong
Angel: Lifts 100s of lbs strong!
G: But they need to be humble
A: What if their skin cuts super easy, like with paper?
‘ The St. Louisan (@thestlouisan) December 22, 2016
One genuinely funny prank to do is to be in a relationship with someone for years and then reveal you were never in love with them at all
‘ Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) March 11, 2017