By: Pitch

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Ways To Sound Cool To The 911 Operator

‘Whaaazzzuuup?! Haha, remember that? So my son, he ‘s not breathing. ‘

Don ‘t call. Wait for them to call you.

‘Please hurry. My house is on fire, and it ‘s burning all my ‘Best Penis ‘ trophies. ‘

‘Hi, I actually have TWO crimes I ‘d like to report. ‘

‘Suuuup, [take drag of cigarette] there ‘s hella blood. ‘

‘What ‘s my emergency? I ‘m drowning in pussy. ‘

Know all the police codes.

‘Did it hurt? When you fell down from heaven? Cuz I just fell from the roof of a building and that hurt a lot. ‘

Conclude with ‘It ‘s like a whole thing. ‘

Put them on hold to take a more important call.

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