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‘Whaaazzzuuup?! Haha, remember that? So my son, he ‘s not breathing. ‘
Don ‘t call. Wait for them to call you.
‘Please hurry. My house is on fire, and it ‘s burning all my ‘Best Penis ‘ trophies. ‘
‘Hi, I actually have TWO crimes I ‘d like to report. ‘
‘Suuuup, [take drag of cigarette] there ‘s hella blood. ‘
‘What ‘s my emergency? I ‘m drowning in pussy. ‘
Know all the police codes.
‘Did it hurt? When you fell down from heaven? Cuz I just fell from the roof of a building and that hurt a lot. ‘
Conclude with ‘It ‘s like a whole thing. ‘
Put them on hold to take a more important call.