By: Ryan Haney

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What The GOP Will Do With $337 Billion In HealthCare Savings

In a report released last week, the Congressional Budget Office estimated that 24 million Americans would lose their insurance coverage under the GOP ‘s Obamacare replacement, the American Healthcare Act. But the CBO also said that the AHCA would cut the government ‘s spending by about $337 billion. Sure, 24 million people sounds like a lot of lives to leaves in the lurch, but just wait until you hear what the GOP plans to do with all that extra cash!

  • Increase the Presidential retreats to Mar-a-Lago from once a week to twice daily
  • Funding research for a Ronald Reagan clone and/or Frankenstein
  • Preserving endangered wildlife so that they can be trained to work at fracking sites
  • Adding ‘reach ‘ countries to Travel Ban list
  • Installing baseboard and ceiling trim on Border Wall
  • Advanced counter intelligence initiatives on our nation ‘s microwaves, dish washers, and Keurig coffee makers
  • Just give some to the rich, ’cause they always know best!
  • New dope \#MAGA swag
  • Forcibly deporting millions of undocumented immigrants via stretch limo
  • Producing pilot episode of ‘Finding Your Roots, ‘ hosted by Rep. Steve King
  • Bolstering sex ed curriculums by providing schools with a fresh new set of ‘shame dollies ‘
  • Large, legible, and durable collar tags for Eric and Donald Jr.
  • Providing additional support and resources to those serving in the military, even chicks and gays
  • Buying up unsold Ivanka Trump clothing (the poor girl works so hard!)

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