By: Jason Flowers
This week ‘s tweets have a lot of very strong opinions on opinions.
Opinions are like assholes: It can feel humiliating, but get them examined, and if an expert says something's wrong with yours, believe them
‘ Brennan Lee Mulligan (@BrennanLM) April 3, 2017
The internet is 69% sex jokes.
‘ marqydoodoo (@markydoodoo) April 3, 2017
Pot roast is just beef you cook at 420 ‘
‘ kim ?? (@KimmyMonte) March 27, 2017
I’m no art critic, but cats would totally be way better at poker.
‘ ߡ|| Evenson (@BillEvenson) February 13, 2017
Just thought about if bdsm in the Sonic universe would cause rings to fly out everywhere, and now you’re thinking it too, and I’m sorry.
‘ Smooth Denny (@Dennywhere) March 26, 2017
the worst part of being a chuck e cheese janitor is having to kiss each ball in the ballpit goodnight before i turn the lights out.
‘ McC (@MattMcC1) March 20, 2017
I've been letting a casserole dish soak since 2011.
‘ Amy Dillon (@amydillon) March 29, 2017
GUIDE: This bird of prey is our oldest, at 20
M: So born in the 90s?
M: OMG..it's the millennial falcon
G: *tazes me to death
‘ F?? ??N???F (@sofarrsogud) March 15, 2017
Mike Pence is right. If I'm emailing a woman colleague, I CC my wife and God. If my barista is a woman, I turn gay until I finish my coffee.
‘ Michael Schaub (@michaelschaub) March 30, 2017
Hi, my name is (honk), my name is (slide whistle), my name is (chicka chicka) Wayne Gacy
‘ Bob Lesh (@Bob_Lesh) April 2, 2017
to the haters that said I would never be able to set up my wireless color scanner: pic.twitter.com/0ZzdCvPZyq
‘ Stavros Halkias (@stavvybaby) April 3, 2017
boy: u up
me: of course i'm up i've been thinking about what it would be like to run around on a beach with nicole kidman for hours now
‘ Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) April 3, 2017
Girl, if I could rearrange the keyboard, I'd put “U” and “I” togeth–oh, huh. Look at that.
‘ Elle Oh Well (@ElleOhHell) March 31, 2017
Scrambled eggs should be spelled dcrbmlaes gegs.
‘ Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) April 2, 2017
Donald Trump is just throwing his son-in-law at every problem like the world is a dorm room and Jared is Febreeze.
‘ Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 3, 2017
Satanism is pretty cool if you like being evil and totally bad ass but also feel like you need some rules to follow.
‘ Mr. Bea Arthur (@FuckabillyRex) March 28, 2017
I wanted to do a sexy boudoir photoshoot for my fianc ‘, but the radiologist had a totally different agenda
‘ Jen Spyra (@jenspyra) March 27, 2017
UNDERAGE FROG: One alcohol, please.
CASHIER: Uh huh. I'll need to see your butt.
UF: *tail nervously wagging under trenchcoat* haha whaaat?
‘ Ray (@SirEviscerate) April 1, 2017
i never eat alone with my dinner so i'm not tempted to fuck the spaghetti
‘ Taryn Englehart (@changawei) April 3, 2017
Ms. Pac-Man should only cost 70% of a quarter per play
‘ Megan Amram (@meganamram) April 3, 2017
Whenever I see a bottle of Glue wearing glasses I wonder if it’s really Super Glue in disguise.
‘ D Duh (@d_duhwit) March 28, 2017
My family crest is a guy writing out a birthday card on his steering wheel.
‘ Rob Cee (@TheRobCee) March 26, 2017
With Meredith playing the pregnant bride and the mother who learns this secret, the takes got interesting…since she had to complete one character’s part, then move to the other side of the screen for the other character’s part. Karl just rolled and told her to play around with it. Pretty funny!
This is a condensed, no budget, 5 minute version of “The Princess Bride” made in the style of the “Sweded” movies in Michel Gondry’s “Be Kind, Rewind”. This was made for a filmmakingfrenzy.com contest in conjunction with the Alamo Drafthouse