By: Alex Pearson
50 Flimsy Excuses To Get an Extension on Your Final Paper

Need a good excuse to ask for more time on your final paper? Sorry, these will not help.
- Your dog ‘s going through a divorce.
- You were recently reminded of what happened to Mufasa.
- Flossing accident.
- Not an excuse per se, but when everyone else in class is marching up to turn in their paper, you hand the teacher a Pepsi.
- You regularly overbook final papers as a business practice.
- You have a signed note from your vape shop owner.
- Having your man-period.
- Your computer chair crashed.
- Your keyboard hasn ‘t been connected to anything this entire time.
- You feel fine ‘ too fine.
- Jury duty in the family.
- Your grandsister died.
- Your great aunt was demoted to just okay.
- Typing violates your current hand-modeling contract.
- You had to put your dog down. Verbally. He was getting too cocky.
- You lost track of time and accidentally took a 3-week shower.
- A previously scheduled hangover.
- You gave up writing papers for Lent, and in your particular religion, this year ‘s a Leap Lent.
- Instagram drama.
- You ate your USB drive for safekeeping, but now it won ‘t pass.
- One of those 24-hour polios.
- Yourdogateyourspacebar.
- Russians hacked your first draft.
- Something you ate. It didn ‘t make you sick, but it did change your entire perspective on the subject matter.
- Mono(ply game going long)
- You had no choice but to use the only existing copy as toilet paper.
- You just heard about Prince.
- An endangered bird has nested in your hair.
- An unbelievable string of your jams came on the radio as soon as you parked.
- Stuck in traffic.
- Stuck at the airport.
- Stuck in line at Starbucks.
- Stuck in a tree.
- Stuck in one of those tubes at a McDonald ‘s PlayPlace.
- Stuck on a bus that can ‘t slow down or it will explode.
- Stuck in the Upside Down.
- Stuck in a moment you can ‘t get out of.
- You only saved it on floppy disk.
- Your paper is under government audit.
- You lost a couple days doing Magic Eyes.
- Pre-school reunion.
- Eyelash issues.
- You accidentally typed it in the section of Snapchat that disappears.
- Clippy from Microsoft Office is sick.
- Gluten.
- Fake news.
- Immigrants.
- Global warming.
- A family emergency.
- Trump.