By: Alex Finley
President Donald Trump is set to deliver a speech on Islam during his upcoming visit to Saudi Arabia. Here is an advance copy of his prepared remarks:
It ‘s so great to be here in Saudi Arabia, surrounded by gold. So much gold. And such nice people. Really, the nicest people. I mean, look, we have the king. Hi, King. So nice, giving me a room with a gold toilet. Really making me feel at home. So nice. The nicest people, the Saudis. The nicest. I can ‘t think of a single bad apple.They ‘re just great. All of them. Even that Osama guy.
It ‘s nice to see so many people turn out for this event. Look at them! Look at all these people who came out to see Donald Trump! This is the most people this kingdom has ever seen. More people than the haj!
I ‘m here to talk about Islam, which is a religion that many, many people belong to. And they ‘re not all bad. Not all of them. I mean, the ones who say Allah Akbar are very scary, but many Islamic people are not bad.
For example, Mohammed. He was an OK guy. He was no Jesus, but he was all right. You know, he was God ‘s messenger. Not a lot of people know that. But he was. And we have to give him respect. This guy was a big prophet. I mean, a huge prophet! And I know about profits! Something I like to say about Mo: Peace be upon Him. Have you heard that phrase? I just came up with it the other day.Thought it sounded good. You like that? Peace be upon Him. Mo. Great guy.
For example, Mohammed. He was an OK guy. He was no Jesus, but he was all right.
Some people might wonder how I can stand here and praise Islam, when I have signed an Executive Order that bans people from many Muslim countries from entering the United States. I don ‘t see what the problem is. I like Islam, a beautiful,beautiful religion. Nobody has more respect for Islam than Donald Trump. Nobody. It ‘s Muslims I can ‘t stand. Especially the really scary ones. The Radical Islamic Terrorists. We must recognize the threat from Radical Islamic Terrorists and stop Radical Islamic Terrorists. Obama was afraid to go against Radical Islamic Terrorists, and he refused to use the words Radical Islamic Terrorists. If he had just said Radical Islamic Terrorists more, we ‘d be done here. But I ‘ll fix it.
We look to our hosts, our great, golden hosts, to help us counter these Radical Islamic Terrorists. In fact, we ‘re discussing ways for this great kingdom, which is helping us fight ISIS and al Qaeda, to spread the word of peaceful Islam. If anyone knows how to teach Islam, it ‘s Saudi Arabia! Look at them,sitting back there smiling. Because they love me. They love me! I love you guys, too. This has nothing to do with all the weapons we just sold them. These guys just love Donald Trump. I can ‘t wait to welcome you guys to Washington. We ‘ll go to the Trump Hotel Grill for some delicious pork chops, the most beautiful pork chops you ‘ve ever seen.
I am reminded of a great, great Saudi, Lawrence of Arabia, who is someone who is being recognized more and more. He won ten Oscars, you know. He deserved it. He gets good ratings. Not as good as my ratings. But decent ratings. He once said, ‘A camel is a stubborn animal. ‘ And I think he ‘s right.
Thank you for having me. I ‘m looking forward to being in your Hall of Presidents,here in the Magic Kingdom of Saudi Arabia!