By: Ryan Haney
Nate Silver is predicting a 75.5% chance that Republicans will winning a majority in the U.S. Senate. Funny Or Die News has crunched the numbers and come up with the following scenarios in which the Democrats could retain control:
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be totally bat shit crazy? Well wonder no more, our package has all you need to be climbing the walls with misplaced frustration in just 24 hrs! Sober? Rationally thinking? Stop. Try being completely insane.
If you like what you see, visit http://www.myspace.com/chadneidt I dedicate this song to the one and only Michael Phelps. Here are the lyrics: Tonya Harding tried to injure Kerrigan O.J. maybe probably killed Nicole Simpson Kobe Bryant got some sugar on the side Jose Conseco didn’t even try to hide Michael Vick killed some dogs and then got caught And Michael Phelps smoked pot Not America’s Golden Boy, not the smile of corn flakes The superhuman fishman can’t be prone to make mistakes Your future still looks bright, just wait out the aftershock You might have lost Kellogs, but you might pick up Birkenstock Still, I’ll always remember when You smoked everyone in the pool You totally made swimming cool You got high up on the pedestal And won first place, the badass who won every race He’s always going fast so he thought he’d take it slow At least it wasn’t real drugs like heroine or blow Every day he eats 12,000 calories That number probably triples when he gets the munchies It’s wrong hating him for what he did A bong c’mon the guy is still a kid Inhale is what Barack has done If I’m correct, I’m pretty sure that he still won Michael, you might be super human every time you swim But outside of the pool it’s good to know that you’re human This will all blow over, so just ride out the breeze And next time, save yourself the trouble and just make brownies