By: Brandon Gulya

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What Are You Eating? Is It a Burger?

The following scene has happened to you.

You sit next to a co-worker on your lunch break.

You: Hey.

Co-Worker: Hey.

You take a bite of your lunch. It is a hamburger.

Co-Worker: What are you eating?

Pause.

Co-Worker: What you got there, a burger?

As mentioned, it is clearly a burger.

You: Yes. I am eating a burger.

Co-Worker: Oh, cool.

Pause.

Co-Worker: You go to Wendy ‘s before work and pick up a burger?

The wrapper says Wendy ‘s on it, so clearly you got this burger from Wendy ‘s. And clearly you did not go DURING work to get it. So, yes, you went to Wendy ‘s before work and picked up a burger.

You: Yes.

Co-Worker: That ‘s cool.

Your co-worker takes a bite of their lunch. It is a sandwich.

Co-Worker: I have a sandwich.

It is a chicken salad sandwich.

Co-Worker: It ‘s a chicken salad sandwich.

The bag says it ‘s from the deli across the street.

Co-Worker: I got it at the deli across the street.

You: Cool.

Co-Worker: Cool.

Your co-worker looks at the clock on the wall. It is ten minutes to 1 PM.

Co-Worker: It ‘s almost one.

You: Yep.

Your shift ends at five.

Co-Worker: That means we ‘ve only got four hours left.

You: You ‘re right.

Your co-worker opens a bag of chips.

Co-Worker: These are potato chips.

The end.

Seriously though, why do people ask what you ‘re eating when they can clearly see what you ‘re eating? Do they have nothing else to say? Are they trying to show interest in the food? Do they want some of your food? What is going on here? Is there something I ‘m not getting? Please stop this behavior at once.

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