By: Louie Aronowitz
It ‘s too bad Cruella De Vil was so obsessed with making a fur coat – classic rookie mistake! Here are some better uses for 101 dalmatians:
101 Dog Actors
Acting can be lucrative if you ‘re successful ‘ Imagine multiplying ‘lucrative ‘ x 101
101 Fire Dogs
It ‘s dangerous out there people. The fire department needs all the help it can get!
The economy is in trouble folks. Even dog walkers are feeling it. Do your part to help the employment infrastructure ‘ It ‘s responsible and patriotic!
101 Chances To Practice With White Out
They got all those black spots just waiting to be colored over, and you need to get better with white out; seems like a no-brainer!
101 Puppy Bowl Champs
Start your own Puppy Bowl, but with dalmatians; The Dalmatian Bowl. It ‘ll be the XFL of adorable!
101 Rush Coils
Paint it red, glue a spring to it ‘s back, complete your cosplay ‘ Unless you really are a super fighting robot, in which case, instant side kick!
101 Trained Dalmatians
Make them all watch Marley and Me ‘ SO THEY LEARN
Why would you make a coat out of their fur? That ‘s horrible! Did you know you lose 90% of your body heat through your head? You won ‘t need a fur coat if you have a FUR HAT ‘ Come on Cruella, be logical!
MONETIZATION MONETIZATION MONETIZATION
Cruella was gonna make a coat with their fur ‘ But if you instead make 101 smaller coats, you can sell them at a huge markup and turn a monster profit; Didn ‘t you watch Girl Boss?!
202-Way Battle Royale
Set them against 101 cats in the ultimate Pay-Per-View EVENT ‘ Maybe they ‘ll even develop a West Side Story type romance between the main dog and main cat ‘s sister? Would love to see them dancing and singing ‘
When you ‘re a cat
you ‘re a cat all the way
from your first tuna can
To your 9th dying day
Ultimate Cuddle Sesh
Let ‘s be real for a minute. When you got 101 cute doggies, what do you think you ‘re best option is? Obviously the ultimate cuddle sesh. Dive into a pile of puppies like Scrooge McDuck into his stacks of gold – it ‘ll be the best decision you ever make!
Clearly Cruella had no idea what she was doing ‘ More like Cruella De Noob! Anyhow, be sure to remember these helpful hints the next time you come across 101 dalmatians.