By: Jason Flowers
19 Tweets About The Jerk Store We’re Gonna Need You To Read By The End Of The Day
The jerk store called, they are NOT running out of tweets.
FRIEND: Hey, the jerk store called
ME (face lights up): Someone called?
‘ Hippo (@InternetHippo) April 16, 2017
Thank you for calling the Jerk Store. This call may be recorded so we can make fun of you later.
‘ pat tobin (@tastefactory) July 21, 2014
the jerk store called ‘ they ‘re no longer selling any confederate flag merchandise, and changing their name to the Decent Person Store
‘ lawblob (@lawblob) June 24, 2015
the jerk store called, they said they're all out of updog
‘ Churlish (@Cryptoterra) September 15, 2014
The jerk store called. They caught your son stealing jerks again
‘ donni saphire (@donni) July 6, 2017
The jerk store calls are coming from inside the house
‘ James (@cashbonez) June 5, 2017
Reasons I can ‘t take your call
No thumbs
Spider webs
Just discovered how to turn off safe search
Hate you
On the other line with jerk store‘ Becky Isotobe (@BuckyIsotope) November 14, 2013
The jerk store called. Turns out they were just worried about me; hadn't seen me in a while. It was nice.
‘ Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 18, 2016
The Jerk Store called. They're no longer selling pumpkin spice jerks. It was one of those automated phone calls.
‘ John Moe (@johnmoe) November 18, 2015
primary issues with the jerk store's business model:
–chronic inventory shortages
–100% of workday spent insulting customers by phone‘ PAPPADEMAS (@PAPPADEMAS) December 6, 2016
nice baby where'd u get it the jerk store
‘ beth mccoll (@imteddybless) June 26, 2014
the jerk store called, i mean the white house
‘ FROVO (@fro_vo) May 8, 2017
The jerk store didn't call me cause they knew feeling left out would be the most hurtful of all.
‘ Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) August 30, 2015
The jerk store called. *removes hat* I'm afraid there's been an accident.
‘ Churlish (@Cryptoterra) March 26, 2013
The Jerk Store called. You know, that Jamaican spice store down off Broadway? Anyways: they said you suck shit lol
‘ Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) October 18, 2014
Hey, the jerk store called. They had the wrong number. I love you, Dave
‘ Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) October 23, 2014
American Horror Story: Jerk Store
‘ Seinfeld Current Day (@Seinfeld2000) September 15, 2016
The jerk store catcalled. It wants you to smile, you're much prettier when you smile.
‘ Elle Oh Well (@ElleOhHell) January 30, 2015
The Jerk Store called. It's closing because it couldn't compete with Amazon. 🙁
‘ Matt Koff (@mattkoff) September 2, 2014
