By: Mike Glazer
22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics
Life can feel like an uppercut from an anvil, so here ‘s some silliness to soothe your soul.
*If you have tweets you love (I ‘ll credit you) please send them my way @GlazerBooHooHoo!
Please. My rabbit. He's very sick. pic.twitter.com/MSejV0hvtn
‘ madds (@whatmaddness) July 23, 2017
Shout out to the man in the audience for Dunkirk who turned to his girlfriend + said “Dunkirk” when the word 'Dunkirk' came up on screen.
‘ Ben Peter Griffin (@GameGriffin) July 23, 2017
Hope you are all having the Best Summer.
‘ Michael Caine (@themichaelcaine) July 26, 2017
This says glitter, but it doesn ‘t.
my fav colour is also hitler pic.twitter.com/0tMnOGpsOG
‘ some quack (@hurlarious) July 23, 2017
Are dog catching nets real or just lies taught to us by Big Cartoon
‘ madds (@whatmaddness) July 25, 2017
I’m so excited to finally learn his last name. pic.twitter.com/5KEpejfs7W
‘ Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) July 24, 2017
Pt 1 – uh oh
The AP has deleted a tweet about a giraffe being born because it included a photo of the wrong giraffe. A new tweet is upcoming.
‘ AP West Region (@APWestRegion) July 26, 2017
Pt 2 – phew
Now that's a big baby! A 2-week old standing 6 feet tall has made its debut at the Los Angeles Zoo https://t.co/HRugrRIAst
‘ AP West Region (@APWestRegion) July 26, 2017
[inventing tupperware]
make it with a material that never lets them forget that one time they made spaghetti
‘ schmox (@IvoryGazelle) July 25, 2017
On a road trip with a bf gf couple and if they call each other babe one more time I will grab the wheel and crash us
‘ luke schwartz is nice now (@LukeDoesStuff) July 21, 2017
PRODUCER: Kevin can you please just write “monsters growling”
SUBTITLE WRITER: how dare you stand between me and my art, you damn philistine pic.twitter.com/YblxPksaaq‘ Cameron Suey (@josefkstories) July 23, 2017
Idea for ppl of New York who grow herbs outside the apartment: put a sign on your house that says “I like dog piss pasta”
‘ Amy Miller (@amymiller) July 24, 2017
if you've ever gotten an email from me longer than 2 sentences please know I worked on it for 3 hours
‘ Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 26, 2017
Wife had a bunch of rum drinks tonight and we somehow ended up at Target pic.twitter.com/kM0OxcA7No
‘ Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) July 26, 2017
The ONLY reason I still use Facebook is to follow the guy I went to high school with who got divorced and now ends every post with #elevate.
‘ Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 25, 2017
when u haven't had sex in awhile & ur ugly friend starting to look a lil less ugly pic.twitter.com/y5xYGxHtur
‘ 1 Savage (@thenudequeen) July 26, 2017
I've had Decpacito stuck in my head since birth
‘ Kate Berlant (@kateberlant) July 26, 2017
*hires sky writer* I'M GIVING YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT
‘ Sarah (@thetigersez) July 26, 2017
yall macauley culkin out here, cleaned up, lookin like a gotdam long lost hanson brother pic.twitter.com/so5v1uOqZA
‘ e.b. (@ebsentminded) July 26, 2017
Ahamed is a kind person and great comic. Enjoy his late night debut!
Here's my set from @LateNightSeth it was fun!!! https://t.co/ZA15Ytfs57
‘ Ahamed Weinberg (@ahamedweinberg) July 26, 2017
I think my Uber driver is in trouble pic.twitter.com/GxIsapbzyO
‘ decent pigeon (@decentbirthday) July 25, 2017
