By: The Defenders Recaps
Every billionaire in the Marvel Universe is an a-hole superhero with the first name “Iron” #Defenders
‘ Matt Little (@themattlittle) August 22, 2017
Previously on “The Defenders ‘ – THIS
NOW, on “The Defenders ‘:
1) Team sleep
Flashback! Elektra and Stick meet to discuss Matt years ago. Stick wears James Marsden ‘s Oakleys from the “X-Men ‘ movies. See? It all connects.
Back in real time The Defenders are all napping in the warehouse as police lights flash outside.
2) In the warehouse, with the sword
Jessica wakes up in holding with Misty Knight doing her best “Clue ‘ impression. She wants answers, finally. Ms. Jones gives her the breakdown about The Hand.
3) Details are Foggy
Matt wakes up with Foggy. He tells the Fog Dog about Elektra and tries to leave but oh no Misty ‘s here now and she wants some g-d answers. Didn ‘t she just get them from Jessica?
4) Power Nap & Iron Fist
Claire and Colleen watch over a still-unconscious Luke Cage. Claire wonders how far she has to move to get away from superhero trash. I ‘d recommend the one place even super villains won ‘t go ‘New Jersey.
Luke wakes up and wants to know what happened to Danny. Don ‘t worry he ‘s still tied up.
5) Hands free
Inside Handquarters, Bakuto, Murakami, and Madame Gao try to reason with Elektra. Bakuto gets uppity but Elektra reveals she only cares about the resurrection fluid, aka Life Viagra.
6) Menage a superhero
Matt, Luke, and Jessica are confronted by Misty, her police captain, and REASON. Luke ties a new approach for a Marvel show – he tells the police the truth. The law has had enough and they ‘re all under arrest. Murdock asks for a moment alone with Luke and Jessica; superhero three-way at the police precinct ‘I ‘ve seen that porn before.
Before they get private time, Karen Page asks if she can steal Matt for a second. He finally tells her “Heroing Makes Me High ‘ and leaves.
7) Chekov ‘s bomb
Colleen reviews the crime scene footage. Hey remember those explosives that John Raymond was storing? Glad the writers did.
8) Fists unlock doors
Elektra takes a ride with Danny on an elevator to Hell. The other Handies hope she can use Danny as a key to unlock their hearts.
Matt, Luke, and Jessica finally start that three way we hoped for. Ahhhh, it ends up like every other three-way – just talk about kidnapping and conspiracies.
Foggy juts in to remind Matt of the most important of the Ten Crack Commandments – keep your business and your family completely separated.
He gives Matt a change of clothes from home ‘a change of DAREDEVIL clothes. Sooo, keep it separate but also make them collide right now.
Matt smirks and heads back in. A few moments later the alarms blare through the station. Luke, Jessica, and Mattdevil have smashed through the wall and escaped. Who ‘s paying for that wall? Better not be coming out of my tax money!
10) Where ‘s Splinter
Danny and Elektra talk some more in the sewers or whatever.
11) Five star wanted level
The police are on full alert to track down our heroes. It ‘s so nice to feel Wanted.
Colleen sneaks into the evidence room and steals some stuff. You better sign for that Colleen!
12) “We ‘re experiencing delays because of train traffic ahead of us ‘
Jessica, Luke, and Matt need to figure out how to get downtown fast. They hop on the subway, which is the opposite of fast.
Jessica steals a beer from a homeless man. Jess and Booze – it ‘s a teamup within a teamup.
Karen and Foggy are worried about Matt. Foggy thinks giving him the costume will let Matt close that door on his life. Foggy is the dumbest lawyer in America.
Misty and Claire are worried about Luke. Claire thinks he ‘s finally finding his place in the world. As a criminal? She gives Misty a speech about how Luke is doing the right thing even if that means breaking the law. I bet the Trump Administration watches this scene every morning as motivation.
14) Suit up
Jessica and Luke want for Matt to get changed then head for Midland Capital After Dark, a fight club in a parking lot.
They find their dance partners immediately – Bakuto, Murakami, and Gao. I can ‘t even find the bathrooms at a club that fast.
15) Fist up
Danny and Elektra talk about density. They don ‘t seem to ‘oh, destiny. My bad.
Doesn ‘t matter because Danny says it ‘s time to fight.
16) Hand up
The Hand square off with The Defenders below ground while Danny and Elektra go toe-to-fist even further below ground. It ‘s badass.
Oh boy, Colleen figured out where the party at and joins in, going after Bakuto.
Now outnumbered, Bakuto lights up a gas main to cover their escape.
Danny keeps talking about himself instead of just doing. More like The Immortal Loud Mouth.
Elektra has him on the ropes but Danny makes another fist wish and superpunches Elektra. She dodges and uses his momentum to blow out the magic wall. YOU. F*CKING. IDIOT.
18) Play Misty for me
Misty arrives, mad at everyone for headed to the club without her. She says she ‘ll distract the cops.
19) It ‘s not terrorism if you ‘re white
The lights go out at the precinct – thanks Danny! – while Misty, Luke, Jessica, Daredevil, and Claire head to the boss cavern.
Before they get there, Colleen gives them all power ups in the form of explosives. Daredevil, the lawyer, recommends using it to bring down the building. The lawyer recommends domestic terrorism. Great job Matty.
20) Belly of the beast
Deep underground, Danny wakes up from his ass kicking, unsure of where he is. As we zoom out, we see the skeleton of a dragon outlining the hole.
He got punched all the way to Skyrim!
Once the episode left the precinct – where everyone told us what we ‘ve watched for the past SIX EPISODES – this took off. The parking lot fight was cool, as was the final reveal.
Will our heroes rescue Danny? Will Daredevil get through to Elektra? Will anyone remember that Misty has a superpower too?
Check back for the thrilling conclusion. Same Defend Time, Same Defend Channel.