By: Mike Glazer
22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics
Here ‘s a mishmash of this week ‘s best tweets to help you forgot everything else! So kick back, relax, and take a breath. You deserve it.
me: i should clean
depression: put clothes on ur bed so you HAVE to deal w it l8r
me, l8r: im tired
depression: j throw it on the floor lmao‘ jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) August 23, 2017
Very excited for this [squints] straight-to-Hulu documentary about the sensational murder trial of a mysterious babysitter pic.twitter.com/gVg2feFlkM
‘ Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) August 23, 2017
pretty sure any three stars close together are “Orion's Belt”
‘ joe mande (@JoeMande) August 22, 2017
me: hey
any store’s “off to college” section: pic.twitter.com/F4vXikB2CC‘ helena (@freshhel) August 23, 2017
the two types of drunk pic.twitter.com/G01MspHxbf
‘ Zeru (@DoubleStraps) August 22, 2017
take a little time out of your day to watch this pic.twitter.com/ugIzrzqHTk
‘ ? caitybug ? (@caitybugink) August 21, 2017
I fixed giraffes. pic.twitter.com/QtavtoFRAt
‘ joey alison sayers (@joeyalison) August 22, 2017
There is no longer any distinction between Nicolas Cage's movies and Nicolas Cage's life. pic.twitter.com/ADrRuJboUZ
‘ Jeremy Woodcock (@jwPencilAndPad) August 19, 2017
[Dentist waiting room]
Me: [chanting] teeth, teeth-
Other patients: teeth, TEETH
Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] TEETH, TEETH, TEETH!
‘ brandAn Current Year (@LeBearGirdle) August 17, 2017
That's Hot! #SolarEclipse2017
‘ Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) August 21, 2017
This turkey sandwich better chill tf out pic.twitter.com/zQE25BG6xT
‘ AV (@deathcamps) August 22, 2017
To my fellow dudes. Before sliding into the mentions of a woman you don't know, ask yourself one question: “Am I a piece of shit?”
‘ Glenn Loury 2.0 Darker, Gayer, Different (@justabloodygame) August 22, 2017
Just when I thought America was beyond repair I found a fucking hotdog farm LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL pic.twitter.com/adPJhF7GKO
‘ Tinker Elle (@elle91) August 21, 2017
I love when a fancy place has a water jug with cucumbers in it. I don't like the taste, I just love watching cucumbers drown
‘ Ryan O'Flanagan (@ryanoflan) August 21, 2017
The Eclipse got an A- from the UV Club
‘ Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 21, 2017
hmu
h – hit
m – me with
u – ur car‘ Kait (@itzzkait) August 20, 2017
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