By: The Defenders Recaps

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The 26 Threats To New York Found Under Manhattan on “The Defenders” s01e08 – “The Defenders”

Previously on “The Defenders ‘ – THIS
NOW, on “The Defenders ‘:

1) Blow me

Guess who ‘d get blamed for this

Matt and Colleen want to blow stuff up but Luke wants no part of it. Come on, Matt, who do you think would get blamed – the white people or the black guy? You ‘re the lawyer.

Luke finally agrees because it ‘s an action show on it ‘s last episode and something has to happen.

2) Carpathain vibes

“But I ‘ve never seen Ghostbusters 2 ‘ ‘

Gao and Elektra walk around inside a giant skeleton and talk about pulling out the weird slime under Manhattan. This is the plot of “Ghostbusters 2. ‘

3) Female blonding

“Yep, our friends are insane. ‘

Trish and Karen talk more about stuff we already know. This show is divided between doing a thing then talking about that thing for three more episodes.

The pair blonde over their messed up friends.

4) Room for one more

“Who tried to flush paper towels?? ‘

Matt superlistens for a trick door in the wall. Luke superpunches it open, revealing the elevator to Hell. Jessica superquips about the plot of the series. Then it ‘s time to go all the way down to Chinatown, baby.

5) You ‘re the reason for those videos before movies

“I ‘ll stop you. With my s-words. ‘

Claire and Colleen Metal Gear Solid their way around with a bag full of bomb. Before they can get it planted Bakuto shows up. Colleen gets real badass and Claire ruins everything by forgetting to silence her cell phone. That ‘s, like, Going To The Movies 101.

Colleen and Bakuto go blade-to-blade as Claire answers the phone; it ‘s Misty, from the parking garage, mom'ing in. She hears a sword party in the background and heads inside.

“That sounds like a party in the background! ‘

6) Make a left at the ribs

“So you ‘re saying I ‘suck? ‘

Danny, looking for directions out of the skeleton, runs into Gao. Gao brings up Danny ‘s mom, which is one of his 8,000 weaknesses. Then she kicks his ass. Elektra stops Gao before she kills Danny.

7) Going down on ’em

Still on the elevator, Daredevil lets the gang know who to expect at the party downstairs. Luke has a plan. Glad someone does.

8) Fashionably late

“Hi I hate ninja shit ‘

Jessica arrives in the rave cave, alone. She talks long enough for Daredevil and Luke to get the jump on the Hand ‘s d-team of white morons.

9) Never bring a sword to a gunfight

“For the last time, they ‘re swords, not s-words. ‘

Colleen keeps swinging swords while Claire does a sneak in the background. A couple goons barge in. In the chaos Colleen is struck down by Bakuto but Misty bursts in with a sword ‘s worst enemy – a gun.

10) Feel the glow

Hope that ‘s not a load-bearing goon

Downstairs The Defenders fight real cool. Danny catches everyone else up on the other side of the plot. Danny turns on his glow fist and they dismantle everyone in the kind of fight I wish they could afford every episode.

Once the goof troop is down Elektra gets the jump on them. Never ask 30 men to do one woman ‘s job.

Oops! Dannys fist goes out. Shoulda paid that elektra bill, kid.

11) Give her a hand

When you run into your ex at the bar after it ended badly

Bakuto KO ‘s Misty which gives Colleen enough time to get up. Claire does the dumbest thing ever and tries to take on Bakuto with two pipes. Who are you, the Mario Bros?

Misty intervenes and gets her arm chopped off.

Colleen retaliates by lopping off Bakuto ‘s head. Why isn ‘t that the first thing anyone does in these fights?

Meanwhile, the C4 has started its countdown. Ten minute warning people!


12) The definition of insanity

When you pay off your credit cards

The Defenders overwhelm Elektra and head for the elevator. Daredevil stays behind to reason with Elektra because it ‘s worked so well in the past.

They have a classic talk-and-punch but Elektra ‘s having none of it. Matt tries a little tenderness and Elektra slices open his tendies.

13) Elevator Action

Pulling the dead weight

Meanwhile, elevator fight!

The hot rising action causes the cables to snap. Everyone almost falls to their doom but Jessica jumps out of the car and holds the damn thing up herself.

Luke and Danny and me are equally amazed and aroused.

14) Police intervention

Luke, Danny, and Jessica meet up with Colleen, Claire, and 2/3rds of Misty. The police show up to arrest everyone.

15) Never think about a comic book plot too hard

“We all float down here ‘

The undead assassin and a blind man in a superhero costume fight some more in the skeleton of a giant beast underneath Manhattan. I ‘m just reporting the facts, people.

Gao finds Murakami, bleeding out, and patiently waits as ‘

16) Wha boom

17) I just died in your arms tonight

“Kiss me like you can see me ‘

Matt holds Elektra close. They kiss as the cave collapses around them.

18) Ghosted

“That doorway ‘s not my friend? ‘

The Defenders b-team wait for their lead actors to return to the precinct. Foggy and Karen continue to wait. They know Matt will be back he said he was only going for cigarettes!

19) InfoWars

“He talks about something called ‘lizard people! ‘ ‘

Morning in New York. Trish lies to her listeners about what happened. Tell them the truth, Trish, it won ‘t sound any crazier than what Alex Jones spouts.

20) Everything worked out. Almost.

“We ‘ll have your photoset up on Apartment Therapy next week. ‘

Foggy lets Claire and Luke know that everyone ‘s off the hook. Hooray! But Matt ‘s still dead.

21) Bagged and boarded

Health insurance costs an arm and ‘just an arm.

What ‘s left of Misty wakes up in the hospital. Colleen is by her side. Don ‘t worry everyone she has a cyber-arm in the comics it ‘ll all work out.

22) Sexy Luke Cage Team-Up

“We shoulda banged more. ‘

Jessica, Luke, and booze all meet at a bar. They clear the air about what happened between them on “Jessica Jones. ‘ Then they have a patented Sexy Luke Cage Moment.

Jessica suggests coffee sometime. The last time Luke had coffee it ended with LOUD SEX GRUNTS.

See you on “Luke Cage ‘ season 02!

23) Home renovations

“Can I speak to Al Ias? ‘

Jessica comes home to her shithole where Malcolm is cleaning up. She closes the door, revealing some cool see-thru cardboard:

See you on “Jessica Jones ‘ season 02!

24) In brightest night

I ‘ve got one hand in my pocket, and the other one ‘s makin ‘ a glowy fist

On the rooftops of New York, Danny sits, waiting to protect the city.

See you on “Iron Fist ‘ season 02 (I guess).

25) Mattitude

Weird costume redesign.

A nun sits over a badly injured man in a bed.

A badly injured MATT MURDOCK.

See you on “Daredevil ‘ season 03!

AND THAT ‘S IT! Thanks for joining us.

That ‘s definitely it. There ‘s nothing else to see here ‘

26) Post Credits

Technically the Punisher makes an appearance on Defenders.

See you on “The Punisher ‘ season 01!

Much like an event comic book this series had big cool moments where the heroes got to engage in bigger, heightened fights compared to the typical threats in their own series.

Also like an event comic there were a lot of downtime moments that weren ‘t as exciting. The focus on Iron Fist suffered from the fact that his series wasn ‘t great.

There were a lot of times when characters ate up screen time describing the series as if the audience hadn ‘t seen these things already happening. There were also opportunities where characters wound up making boring choices compared to exciting ones.

This was an ambitious TV concept and I hope they do it again, building from here. This series kicks off the second wave of Marvel Netflix series; here ‘s hoping they give these series the proper production time to make them great and not just try to cram them into a schedule. It ‘ll feel rushed, like an event comic that ‘s running behind schedule.

Hey, so maybe it was an authentic comic television experience.

Thanks for following along.


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