By: Jason Flowers
22 Tweets About Skateboards We’re Gonna Need You To Read By The End Of The Day

Read these tweets to find out if they can do any cool tricks.
The simplest way to find drugs is to locate an adult with a skateboard
‘ Online Participant (@SortaBad) June 25, 2016
Badass When You're 15: Somebody jumping a skateboard over a shark tank
Badass When You're 35: Someone saying what they really think‘ pat tobin (@tastefactory) May 6, 2017
The consensus among historians is that the Biblical figure “Cool Petey Skateboard” never actually existed
‘ beloved comedy institution “the pixelated boat ‘ (@pixelatedboat) April 27, 2016
Kid: trick or treat
Me [hands him a skateboard]: trick
Kid [stares blankly]: …
Me: yeah I didn't think so. Get the fuck outta here‘ David Hughes (@david8hughes) October 7, 2016
Dear finance guy on a skateboard,
Pick one.‘ Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) June 23, 2015
I used to think I was too fat to skateboard but with a little practice and perseverence now I know for a fact that I'm too fat to skateboard
‘ dan chamberlain (@amfmpm) September 18, 2015
I just saw a guy do a skateboard trick carrying a bag of bagels, it's too bad his destination wasn't into my heart
‘ audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) April 9, 2015
My parents won't buy me a skateboard because they don't want me to become radicalized.
‘ Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) December 5, 2015
My husband may have been born a skateboard, but he died a coward, and THAT'S what counts 🙂
‘ Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) September 28, 2016
Student: Professor, can I talk to you?
Teacher: Oh please, Professor was my dad. Call me “Teach.”
[Teacher steps off skateboard and sits.]‘ April Lavalle (@imatoofbrush) August 9, 2016
ME: [walk into garage] skateboard? But that means ‘
SON: [driving to school in my shopping cart]
‘ the pan-midwesterner (@panmidwest) July 9, 2016
Meeting me for breakfast on your skateboard is a good way of letting me know you ‘re not picking up the bill.
‘ Erica (@SCbchbum) February 4, 2015
Meeting me for breakfast on your skateboard is a good way of letting me know you ‘re not picking up the bill.
‘ Erica (@SCbchbum) February 4, 2015
The scariest sound in the world is walking on a sidewalk and suddenly hearing a skateboard behind you.
‘ Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) November 20, 2016
“Son we need to talk”
Ok dad
“Your mom and I have decided to send you to boarding school”
Sweet! *runs to get skateboard*‘ dan mentos (@DanMentos) November 28, 2014
I bet Superman gets really pissed when skateboard punks try to hitch a ride on the end of his cape.
‘ spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) March 26, 2016
*walks up to teen on skateboard*
In my day we didn't have skateboards. We rode down handrails in a horse & carriage. ok man, stay fleek.‘ kim ?? (@KimmyMonte) December 30, 2016
I taught my dog to skateboard, but now I hate the group of teens he's been rollin' with.
‘ John Reynolds (@JohnReynoldss) July 20, 2017
u can lead a horse to water, you can also tape two squirrels together and make them ride a skateboard. u can do anything with squirrels!!!
‘ goth turtle (@dubstep4dads) February 20, 2016
I think we're about 5 years out from seeing a skateboard in a Cialis ad.
‘ Alex Baze (@bazecraze) March 15, 2015
what about watching eight dog riding skateboard videos in a row makes youtube ads think i'm in any position in life to buy a fucking lexus
‘ rob whisman (@robwhisman) April 10, 2016
[sees a cute dog on a skateboard]
haha, gnarly, little dude!!
[skateboard headed into oncoming traffic]
oh, he has like, no control‘ josh (@ruinedpicnic) November 19, 2015
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