By: Mike Glazer
It feels like we ‘re living in an Icelandic heavy metal band ‘s guitar solo. Take a break, and enjoy this week ‘s best tweets about everything else!
Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat adding sage. pic.twitter.com/5JCO10MWt0
‘ Daniel Kibblesmith ?? (@kibblesmith) September 6, 2017
wife: how was ur day honey
husband: incredible. I was invited by travelocity to shout about my experience on facebook.
‘ Noah Prestwich (@NoahPwich) September 6, 2017
Quick mock for a really dumb app I wish existed…. CAN I PARK HERE OR NOT? pic.twitter.com/Fu2D9pyWW5
‘ Tara Mann (@taramann) September 2, 2017
Girls spend $70 on an outfit and curl hair and put on makeup just to hook up with a frat boy in a Hawaiian shirt who peed his bed last night
‘ Anna (@letsgetfunke) September 3, 2017
Life is just repurchasing your favorite movies in increasingly higher definitions until you die.
‘ Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) September 4, 2017
‘ Logan Guntzelman (@adirtyguntz) September 7, 2017
[New, dark Taylor Swift at the movies] “one ticket to Stephen King's It please, which is a comedy to me by the way”
‘ Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) September 5, 2017
Oh no. Oh no, the website… pic.twitter.com/gelKz7GXM5
‘ Amityville Amber (@ElementalAmber) September 1, 2017
It's a beautiful day pic.twitter.com/yafyGPBU8M
‘ schwarz crow (@schwarzcrow94) August 31, 2017
me: ridiculously wide sunglasses
shark 1: i'm out
shark 2: i'm out
hammerhead shark: i'm listening
‘ andrew (@AndrewChamings) September 1, 2017
The original title of So You Think You Can Dance was So You're A Mormon Man With A Big Secret.
‘ Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) September 2, 2017
I'm going to need a little more on the backstory here please. pic.twitter.com/2K7vCyoUEA
‘ All Berets Matter (@AllBeretsMatter) September 2, 2017
Stacking dice on a cat’s foot pic.twitter.com/yxF8Bmyfmv
‘ Nature is Amazing (@AMAZlNGNATURE) September 4, 2017
[my wife to everyone at the pool party] pls don't tell him, he's never known the truth
[me loudly as I jump off the diving board] CABIN BALL
‘ Ygrene (@Ygrene) September 2, 2017
PISS IN THE FROG'S MOUTH LIKE A MEN!! pic.twitter.com/FbwPkKDOUf
‘ Sam Chaplin (@SamChaplin) September 4, 2017
I like how men get their hair cut when they hit puberty and then that's just the way they do their hair for their whole lives.
‘ jess (@jessokfine) September 4, 2017
A great moment in movie history is when Harvey can’t recognize The Joker until he takes off his surgery mask. pic.twitter.com/nFbS8qMn4F
‘ David S. (@AE_DavidS) August 31, 2017
you know I keep that mf thang on me pic.twitter.com/JcAJk1Y3jH
‘ NachoManRandySadness (@juckfohn) September 2, 2017
I love Chainsmokers pic.twitter.com/OIndFw657U
‘ thomas (@Barknado69) August 31, 2017
been waiting hours in this coffee shop for some idiot to order an “expresso” so I can correct them
‘ Freddy Scott (@freddyscott) September 4, 2017
Shia LaBeouf is watching himself in every movie he has ever made over the course of three days at a Manhattan movie theater in a performance art project called #ALLMYMOVIES by LaBeouf, R ‘nkk ‘ & Turner. We have access to an exclusive art piece called #ALLSHIASMOVIES by performance art collective LaTour, P ‘ronkk ‘ & Burner below.
David Beckham announced that at age 38, he is retiring from professional soccer. Here are some things he should have time for now.