By: Mike Glazer
You probably feel like it ‘s been another long chaotic week. WELL NOT HERE! This article is a safe space dedicated to the best tweets that have nothing to do with everything else.
*Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thing. Poppa and momma bear slept in separate beds so maybe everything wasn't “just right”
‘ Boog (@BoogTweets) July 21, 2017
Tis the season my dudes pic.twitter.com/BzNqeaY191
‘ ASSWOLF (@TheRealAsswolf) September 18, 2017
Why are lyric websites more difficult to navigate than porn?
‘ Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) September 20, 2017
When you don't know whats going on and you're just trying to fit in. https://t.co/pKKGx8GuvJ
‘ penjamin. (@upsidedowntrash) November 2, 2016
I feel v connected to this earthquake because I too am an LA 3.6
‘ danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) September 19, 2017
Ugh, do you ever look at all your exes and realize you have a type? pic.twitter.com/EvbK5mZ6q6
‘ Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) September 20, 2017
“let me see what you have..”
‘ Best Vines (@TheFunnyVine) September 20, 2017
my body: WATER please I need it
me: you – you want iced coffee??
‘ Laine Davis (@lainekdavis) September 18, 2017
“Moved house, dog has never seen stairs before”
This video legit keeps tickling me pic.twitter.com/MxJcfUP4v4
‘ Tei (@TeiHusky) September 18, 2017
GONE WITH THE WIND (1939) pic.twitter.com/tgvbyEj7nO
‘ Titular Lines (@Saythetitle) September 19, 2017
*Thom Yorke voice* pic.twitter.com/b89XDhjuv2
‘ Jeff Lyons (@usedwigs) September 17, 2017
I just slurped up a banana string like spaghetti as if it wasn't the grossest thing I've ever done but it was.
‘ Mike Peters (@mijamtweets) September 19, 2017
Darren Aronofsky dresses like he is the drama teacher on a Disney Channel sitcom. His name is “Mr Z” and he rolls his Rs for some reason pic.twitter.com/J28mSkw2SC
‘ Natalie Walker (@nwalks) September 19, 2017
Whenever I'm sad, I remember that Chuck E. Cheese's full name is Charles Entertainment Cheese. pic.twitter.com/j91LQycJIY
‘ Amy Dracula (@amydracula) June 4, 2017
so disappointed after seeing this photo & realizing that's a third llama in the back & not the arm of the right llama ringing a little bell pic.twitter.com/LM1yhbkW0M
‘ Ali Garfinkel (@aligarchy) September 12, 2017
Ok so when Selena Gomez's friend gives her a kidney it's “true friendship” but when I toss my kidney over Brendan Fraser's gate it's “ma'am”
‘ Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) September 14, 2017
Art is a very complicated way to say 'a hug would be nice'
‘ mary boo anderson (@whoismaryboo) February 10, 2017
this mannequin look like he waiting for his class to stfu pic.twitter.com/GewTUt94iQ
‘ (@lordflaconegro) September 18, 2017
[playing guess who]
werner herzog: does yours have
eyes that know pain, a man haunted by his own spirit
werner herzog: is it eric
‘ joe (@mutablejoe) October 23, 2016
Lmao!!!! Nooooooo super Mario X sailor moon pic.twitter.com/4MNgZlznGm
‘ C.A.M (@TeamRocketCAM) September 19, 2017
‘ Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) September 17, 2017
That feels better! Have a dynamite week!
Jared Kushner may be busy hammering out deals in Washington D.C., but in the bedroom his wife Ivanka Trump is the one who does the pounding.
See if you have what it takes to defeat Sarah in this staring contest, but be mindful of her tricks!
Does the perfect woman exist…? Should she? THE PERFECT WOMAN Written by: Nick Afka Thomas and Sarah Ann Masse Starring: Nick Afka Thomas and Sarah Ann Masse Guest appearances by: John Weselcouch and Sean McIntyre Director/DP: Ed Ballart Sound: Ed Spangler Editor: Keven Pelon Produced by: Zonino Productions & We Are Thomasse (Sarah Ann Thomas Special Thanks: Davina Adjani http://www.wearethomasse.com Twitter: @WeAreThomasse Facebook: facebook.com/wearethomasse Instagram: @WeAreThomasse Patreon: patreon.com/wearethomasse Email List: subscribe.wearethomasse.com