By: Mike Glazer
What a week (just like every week). Take a break, a deep breath, and enjoy some dynamo tweets. You deserve to escape for a bit. Everyone does!
They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another.
‘ John Mayer (@JohnMayer) October 4, 2017
the most impressive scene in any spy movie is in Casino Royale when james bond is in a hotel shower and knows immediately how to use it.
‘ Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 4, 2017
The One Where Rachel Wears Luigi Cosplay pic.twitter.com/jS7lHCvMcQ
‘ Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) October 1, 2017
Don’t forget to check y’all kids candy bags this Halloween, I found this last year in my little brother’s lollipop. smh. pic.twitter.com/4e5jxQakwt
‘ ???? (@NasMaraj) October 3, 2017
mystery solved pic.twitter.com/k47NAgr5xI
‘ romanceable npc (@bijanstephen) September 28, 2017
I like how “two ‘ is spelled a little strangely so you ‘re prepared early on for how insane “eight ‘ is going to be.
‘ Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) October 5, 2017
‘ big dog energy (@GrrlGhost) September 27, 2017
Let me make your day a tad better:
I went to Medieval Times this weekend and the king FOR REAL came out and reminded everyone not to vape.
‘ Jordan_Morris (@Jordan_Morris) October 3, 2017
it's October so you know what that means pic.twitter.com/d9wNRnuIsV
‘ Andrew Barber (@fakeshoredrive) October 1, 2017
your word is 'hors d'oeuvre'
“can you use it in a sentence?”
yes ‘'I bet this kid can't spell hors d'oeuvre'
‘ Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) October 1, 2017
Good morning everyone, except for people who put bananas in the refrigerator.
‘ Donna McCoy (@Donna_McCoy) October 4, 2017
why this man's stomach look like woody harrelson lmaooooooo pic.twitter.com/p9BrL1bmT1
‘ sage (@sagemyster) September 18, 2017
Any time I go to a live concert I do every thing I can to get on stage, take the mic from the singer, and announce I'm about ready to leave
‘ Matt Ingebretson (@mattingebretson) October 4, 2017
Date someone who will pick you up from the airport
‘ Rachel Wolfson (@wolfiecomedy) October 1, 2017
I ‘m dying. My mom bought this book for my 6 year old and I just called to ask if she had actually opened the book. She hadn ‘t. pic.twitter.com/inYCEaZKpV
‘ tiffany (@Tiffany1985B) October 4, 2017
Deleted Instagram off my phone two hours ago and I've already completed my masters
‘ Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) October 4, 2017
Dear God. It ACTUALLY fucking happened pic.twitter.com/h5J6ibytAU
‘ King Nathan, XV (@RodriguezDaGod) October 6, 2017