By: Mike Glazer
22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics

What a week (just like every week). Take a break, a deep breath, and enjoy some dynamo tweets. You deserve to escape for a bit. Everyone does!

They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another.
‘ John Mayer (@JohnMayer) October 4, 2017
the most impressive scene in any spy movie is in Casino Royale when james bond is in a hotel shower and knows immediately how to use it.
‘ Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 4, 2017
The One Where Rachel Wears Luigi Cosplay pic.twitter.com/jS7lHCvMcQ
‘ Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) October 1, 2017
Don’t forget to check y’all kids candy bags this Halloween, I found this last year in my little brother’s lollipop. smh. pic.twitter.com/4e5jxQakwt
‘ ???? (@NasMaraj) October 3, 2017
mystery solved pic.twitter.com/k47NAgr5xI
‘ romanceable npc (@bijanstephen) September 28, 2017
I like how “two ‘ is spelled a little strangely so you ‘re prepared early on for how insane “eight ‘ is going to be.
‘ Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) October 5, 2017
This underwater afghan hound is the funniest thing I've seen in my life via @klarna pic.twitter.com/ORKEeV9oLx
‘ big dog energy (@GrrlGhost) September 27, 2017
Let me make your day a tad better:
I went to Medieval Times this weekend and the king FOR REAL came out and reminded everyone not to vape.
‘ Jordan_Morris (@Jordan_Morris) October 3, 2017
it's October so you know what that means pic.twitter.com/d9wNRnuIsV
‘ Andrew Barber (@fakeshoredrive) October 1, 2017
[spelling bee]
your word is 'hors d'oeuvre'
“can you use it in a sentence?”
yes ‘'I bet this kid can't spell hors d'oeuvre'
‘ Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) October 1, 2017
Good morning everyone, except for people who put bananas in the refrigerator.
‘ Donna McCoy (@Donna_McCoy) October 4, 2017
why this man's stomach look like woody harrelson lmaooooooo pic.twitter.com/p9BrL1bmT1
‘ sage (@sagemyster) September 18, 2017
Any time I go to a live concert I do every thing I can to get on stage, take the mic from the singer, and announce I'm about ready to leave
‘ Matt Ingebretson (@mattingebretson) October 4, 2017
Date someone who will pick you up from the airport
‘ Rachel Wolfson (@wolfiecomedy) October 1, 2017
I ‘m dying. My mom bought this book for my 6 year old and I just called to ask if she had actually opened the book. She hadn ‘t. pic.twitter.com/inYCEaZKpV
‘ tiffany (@Tiffany1985B) October 4, 2017
Deleted Instagram off my phone two hours ago and I've already completed my masters
‘ Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) October 4, 2017
Dear God. It ACTUALLY fucking happened pic.twitter.com/h5J6ibytAU
‘ King Nathan, XV (@RodriguezDaGod) October 6, 2017
Found a new career goal pic.twitter.com/84iyaUO8wN
‘ Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) September 6, 2017
Similar Posts

Jeff Dunham’s Very Special Christmas Special – Achmed
A short clip of Jeff Dunham and Achmed the Dead Terrorist from Jeff’s brand new Comedy Central Special and DVD, “Jeff Dunham’s Very Special Christmas Special”!

Full Length Mr. Spriggs Bar B Q Commercial
Here is the full length :60 sec Mr Spriggs Bar B Q commercial hot off the press. We wanted everyone to be able to hear the full song. Thank you very much Mr. Ferrell and Mr. McKay, Oklahoma loves you, and please come on over and see us sometime- kingpat38

Sneak Peak Into Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Sex Issue
The inside scoop on how to make your sex life more Goopy.

Local News Spreads a Little TLC
Local News Spreads a Little TLC

Funny Or Die Weather
Real Weather. Real Funny. Download the Funny or Die Weather app in the iTunes store: https://itunes.apple.com/app/id943270323

Clint Eastwood in The Growler
Clint is back… and crankier than ever.