By: Jason Flowers
27 Goodest Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week #104

This week ‘s tweets already have vomit on their sweater.
ok so eminem paces back and forth rapping about iniquity and he ‘s a hero but when i do it i ‘m “disrupting the flow of this bridal shower ‘
‘ Jen Spyra (@jenspyra) October 11, 2017
Next Sunday Mike & Karen Pence will spend $223 billion taxpayer dollars to fly to the moon for 15 minutes & yodel the N word at an apple pie
‘ rob delaney (@robdelaney) October 9, 2017
I…do not understand how electricity works. pic.twitter.com/rA3zIc70ER
‘ Ray (@SirEviscerate) October 9, 2017
ME: i put so much pressure on myself to succeed
FRIEND: you're eating ice cream in bed
ME: *snoring*
‘ Jill la Jill (@JillianKarger) October 6, 2017
Hot Girl: Hey, u single?
Me: I am.
HG: Cool, can I take this extra chair?
‘ alien skier (@ClichedOut) October 9, 2017
I'd be better at jogging if I wasn't always spilling my nachos.
‘ Brother Sal (@delusions_of) October 8, 2017
I don't go out very much because I'm broke, but oh boy, once I'm rich, I'm gonna have to come up with another excuse.
‘ Maria Wojciechowski (@RiaWojo) July 19, 2017
It’s called the “mall” because instead of going to one store you’re going to “them all” pic.twitter.com/yMJLayKzlw
‘ The Don (@JackedYoTweets) October 8, 2017
If you make sure your phone is off on a flight, you probably still write checks at the grocery store.
‘ Sara Scully (@SaraSScully) October 11, 2017
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