By: Mike Glazer
You might feel like
so enjoy a brief escape from EVERYTHING.
*forgets cup of coffee on top of horse*
‘ Octopus/Cavemowgli (@Holy_Mowgli) October 3, 2017
In the Spring, gloves. The Fall, flip flops. Bittersweet reminders of Times passing. Hanx. pic.twitter.com/BmBrBMk9wd
‘ Tom Hanks (@tomhanks) October 18, 2017
*adjusts crotch monocle* pic.twitter.com/Ul1P0XsjLk
‘ Faith Choyce (@faithchoyce) October 9, 2017
Things are so dark right now, but please hang in there. Remember that there is still good in the world pic.twitter.com/mxbCp6fsiy
‘ Helena Bottom-Farter (@solikebasically) October 16, 2017
These octopus kites are insane! pic.twitter.com/e69tXoN26i
‘ No Feelings ! (@itsboyschapter) October 4, 2017
(Unusually high voice) nice pic.twitter.com/wy2S19rRQS
‘ Mayor P (friendly neighborhood mayor) (@punmagnate) October 8, 2017
[my wife to everyone at the pool party] pls don't tell him, he's never known the truth
[me loudly as I jump off the diving board] CABIN BALL
‘ Ygrene (@Ygrene) September 2, 2017
We’ve been playing ’em wrong this entire time. pic.twitter.com/AdzdBrLFp8
‘ No Feelings ! (@itsboyschapter) October 11, 2017
Canadians are so careless with their money pic.twitter.com/HNeDpEF7aD
‘ wylde de beest (@flashember) October 16, 2016
If you're running a half marathon you should only be allowed to bring it up half as many times.
‘ mark normand (@marknorm) October 15, 2017
omg this is everything pic.twitter.com/NxIaZzzzks
‘ David Mack (@davidmackau) October 13, 2017
Rock your body
Rock your body right
Borat voice my wife
‘ Keanu_reevebooks (@TheVictasticK) October 17, 2017
Damn boy are you an invite to an improv show?
Cause you can't make me come.
‘ Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) October 15, 2017
someone who is good at science please help which is the correct anatomy of hamburger helper pic.twitter.com/TRW1Ah8lod
‘ michael SCAREa (@soongrowtired) October 14, 2017
Detective Benjamin Button: I'm getting too young for this shit
‘ Elvish Presley (@_ElvishPresley_) October 11, 2017
SOUND ON! CATCHY AF!
Twitter undefeated pic.twitter.com/hryKFLt82O
‘ XXL Magazine (@XXL) October 4, 2017
Old M&M ‘s commercials: the chocolate that melts in your mouth, not your hand
New M&M ‘s commercials: hey, maybe you can fuck the green one
‘ zach kagan dot net (@zakagan) October 10, 2017
(making out with my date) alexa play Jurassic Park soundtrack
‘ chuuch (@ch000ch) October 12, 2017
PUMPKINS AREN ‘T EVEN SPICY
‘ Steven W Skinner (@SkinnerSteven) October 2, 2017
Jim Davis has denied Jon drinks cum in that strip but I ‘ve obtained his first draft and it seems Mr Davis is lying: pic.twitter.com/bXMrAnVx2v
‘ beloved comedy institution “the pixelated boat ‘ (@pixelatedboat) October 19, 2017
Neil Degrasse Tyson: Infinity pool? “Optical illusion ‘ pool would be more accurate
His friend: Are you really gonna keep your shirt on??
‘ Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) October 19, 2017
Trouble with the living? Call Ray Parker, Sr. Attorney at Law. No one is better equipped to handle your paranormal legal needs.
The Fashion Police Writers are on strike for fair wages and working conditions. Until they go back to work, they’re spending time in other people’s offices.