By: Mike Glazer
22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics

You might feel like

so enjoy a brief escape from EVERYTHING.
[1868]
*forgets cup of coffee on top of horse*‘ Octopus/Cavemowgli (@Holy_Mowgli) October 3, 2017
In the Spring, gloves. The Fall, flip flops. Bittersweet reminders of Times passing. Hanx. pic.twitter.com/BmBrBMk9wd
‘ Tom Hanks (@tomhanks) October 18, 2017
*adjusts crotch monocle* pic.twitter.com/Ul1P0XsjLk
‘ Faith Choyce (@faithchoyce) October 9, 2017
You had one job! pic.twitter.com/reuxS9EVTl
‘ You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) October 17, 2017
Things are so dark right now, but please hang in there. Remember that there is still good in the world pic.twitter.com/mxbCp6fsiy
‘ Helena Bottom-Farter (@solikebasically) October 16, 2017
These octopus kites are insane! pic.twitter.com/e69tXoN26i
‘ No Feelings ! (@itsboyschapter) October 4, 2017
(Unusually high voice) nice pic.twitter.com/wy2S19rRQS
‘ Mayor P (friendly neighborhood mayor) (@punmagnate) October 8, 2017
[my wife to everyone at the pool party] pls don't tell him, he's never known the truth
[me loudly as I jump off the diving board] CABIN BALL‘ Ygrene (@Ygrene) September 2, 2017
We’ve been playing ’em wrong this entire time. pic.twitter.com/AdzdBrLFp8
‘ No Feelings ! (@itsboyschapter) October 11, 2017
Canadians are so careless with their money pic.twitter.com/HNeDpEF7aD
‘ wylde de beest (@flashember) October 16, 2016
If you're running a half marathon you should only be allowed to bring it up half as many times.
‘ mark normand (@marknorm) October 15, 2017
omg this is everything pic.twitter.com/NxIaZzzzks
‘ David Mack (@davidmackau) October 13, 2017
Everybody
Yeah-ah
Rock your body
Yeah-ah
Everybody
Rock your body right
Borat voice my wife‘ Keanu_reevebooks (@TheVictasticK) October 17, 2017
Damn boy are you an invite to an improv show?
Cause you can't make me come.
‘ Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) October 15, 2017
someone who is good at science please help which is the correct anatomy of hamburger helper pic.twitter.com/TRW1Ah8lod
‘ michael SCAREa (@soongrowtired) October 14, 2017
Detective Benjamin Button: I'm getting too young for this shit
‘ Elvish Presley (@_ElvishPresley_) October 11, 2017
SOUND ON! CATCHY AF!
Twitter undefeated pic.twitter.com/hryKFLt82O
‘ XXL Magazine (@XXL) October 4, 2017
Old M&M ‘s commercials: the chocolate that melts in your mouth, not your hand
New M&M ‘s commercials: hey, maybe you can fuck the green one
‘ zach kagan dot net (@zakagan) October 10, 2017
(making out with my date) alexa play Jurassic Park soundtrack
‘ chuuch (@ch000ch) October 12, 2017
PUMPKINS AREN ‘T EVEN SPICY
‘ Steven W Skinner (@SkinnerSteven) October 2, 2017
Jim Davis has denied Jon drinks cum in that strip but I ‘ve obtained his first draft and it seems Mr Davis is lying: pic.twitter.com/bXMrAnVx2v
‘ beloved comedy institution “the pixelated boat ‘ (@pixelatedboat) October 19, 2017
Neil Degrasse Tyson: Infinity pool? “Optical illusion ‘ pool would be more accurate
His friend: Are you really gonna keep your shirt on??‘ Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) October 19, 2017

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