By: Mike Glazer
22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics

Jeepers Creepers the world is a scary place! Thank goodness we have 22 terrific tweets that have nada to do with politics!

KID: Daddy, did the dinosaurs go to heaven
ME: *standing in doorway* Probably
THE KID'S DAD: Who the hell are you‘ pat tobin (@tastefactory) May 19, 2017
Bad news: I accidentally washed a nice wool shirt that I really loved and it shrunk a LOT
Good news: pic.twitter.com/bPN6uji4ws
‘ SLIME LANGUAGE OUT NOW (@alextumay) October 24, 2017
This professor graded tests next to me the whole flight. If there ‘s a Taiwan Jones at Howard, boy you failed the fuck out ya midterm
‘ roy. (@Old_Orleans) October 19, 2017
Tweeting this so I never have to look for it again pic.twitter.com/I8bk2EKHMM
‘ soulja jae (@Juhhriz) October 21, 2017
spent so much time chasing others in their dreams I forgot to chase my own pic.twitter.com/R19gNkwU9j
‘ (@lordflaconegro) October 21, 2017
what if when Dracula’s fangs came out they made that truck backing up noise
‘ spaceghoul incognito (@iamspacegirl) October 19, 2017
The balls on this guy. pic.twitter.com/KbuKmrIJWw
‘ Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) October 23, 2017
my favorite nightly ritual is trying to find any movie under ninety minutes and then giving up to watch four hours of tv instead
‘ pilot! (@pilotbacon) October 24, 2017
Me not wanting to ruin anyone's night, while having an unshakeable feeling that everything we're filling our time with is pointless pic.twitter.com/OrEOu2eR4f
‘ Daughter John Misty (@MightyMonika) October 23, 2017
dreams? oh, you mean my sleep gifs?
‘ madds (@whatmaddness) October 20, 2017
Bruh her shoe in a whole notha city pic.twitter.com/eyjPspyBsE
‘ BLACK GOKU (@BigNeechi) October 21, 2017
“We didn’t think you’d wanna come”
First of all, you’re right
Second of all, I still want an invite every time‘ Selena (@ygselena) October 22, 2017
me forcing myself to get ready and go out after I've flaked all month pic.twitter.com/JdgPG1uGWC
‘ La Bronze James (@jackieaina) October 22, 2017
‘i see a bear and play dead ‘
[BEAR] omg it happened again this is my curse‘ Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) January 12, 2015
TONIGHT ON CBS! All new episodes of
-Fart Dad
-Sex Nerd
-Cop Family
-and OUR TROOPS‘ Evil Dead 2 Magary (@drewmagary) October 22, 2017
Saw some pigeon detectives down at the lake trying to solve a murder. pic.twitter.com/24yAYtVujK
‘ joey alison sayers (@joeyalison) July 4, 2017
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