12 Similarities Between Your Ex and a Refrigerator

Exes and refrigerators: two entities that may spew toxic chemicals if they are no longer in use. Here are 12 other similarities between your ex and your refrigerator, just in time for Cuffing Season!

• They used to model for Sears
• Both are empty inside
• My roommate won ‘t stay out of either
• There ‘s a dead kid inside
• They ‘re both white, basic, and large
• I keep going back, expecting there to be something more
• 75% mayonnaise
• I tried to fix what ‘s broken before hiring a qualified professional
• Dear God, the humming!
• Putting a baby in there was a bad idea
• The sex was awkward
• I never loved my refrigerator, either.