22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics

happy halloween children i hope you enjoy your bucket of warm scrambled egg xox pic.twitter.com/ov0OsUCEDr

‘ Chris (Simpsons artist) (@getbentsaggy) October 31, 2017

---

Peter Parker's main source of income is selfies.

‘ Evan Kaufman (@EvanKaufman) April 22, 2014

---

there ‘s a fucking milhouse cosplayer reading radioactive man at the Bucks game pic.twitter.com/W7mLcWkhLo

‘ the basketball mom (@capitalflowking) October 27, 2017

---

Most men can’t find stair 1 roof access pic.twitter.com/GwqkSIpjoS

‘ Jason (@ayyjqce) October 30, 2017

---

The strap on the back of crocs is so they stay on during sex

‘ Allison (BTBB) (@sug_knight) May 22, 2017

---

My boy put hand sanitizer on his desk and tried to cook spam in his dorm pic.twitter.com/77z22Jqygo

‘ shaun ryan (@beyondshaun) October 28, 2017

---

*drinks a bottle of water*
fuck yeh i ‘m gonna live forever

‘ kim ?? (@KimmyMonte) October 30, 2017

---

“Should I use a hyphen?”
“Nah. You're good.”
“Cool. Cool.” pic.twitter.com/RA7vpIvQP8

‘ John P. Lopez (@LopezOnSports) October 29, 2017

---

Here is your hotel room. There are two electrical outlets hidden behind heavy furniture in the hardest to reach corners of the room. Enjoy.

‘ Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) November 1, 2017

---

that freaking stair…. #GoBucks pic.twitter.com/Jjg3PonZW9

‘ abby grau (@abby_grau13) October 29, 2017

---

I put these on and tried to walk away, but I stumbled pic.twitter.com/PMl5CnTEVO

‘ lee harvey (@heavy_flames) October 26, 2017

---

Kid: trick or treat
Me [hands him a skateboard]: trick
Kid [stares blankly]: …
Me: yeah I didn't think so. Get the fuck outta here

‘ David Hughes (@david8hughes) October 7, 2016

---

Arugala is my favorite vegetable that sounds like it's drowning.

‘ Stalk Me Amadeus (@tweetsvisual) November 1, 2017

---

I ‘m happy with most of the Lion King cast but THIS could be a big mistake: pic.twitter.com/NHuU8Etzc7

‘ beloved comedy institution “the pixelated boat ‘ (@pixelatedboat) November 1, 2017

---

ah the saxophone. the “difficult whistle” as it is sometimes known

‘ andrew / stu (@rinbcage) October 29, 2017

---

My boy said weed makes you feel the way you should feel without weed. Thats the highest shit I've ever heard.

‘ Post nut clarity (@TiricoHairline) December 27, 2016

---

Lol this cat looks like it's going thru a divorce and talking abt it in vanity fair pic.twitter.com/JRblvDnyrB

‘ Flora underscore underscore Flora (@Flora__Flora) August 28, 2017

---

[hands hot dog vendor my credit card] leave it open

‘ Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) July 3, 2016

---

u think big bird can touch rim be honest

‘ alex smith (@mineifiwildout) October 28, 2017

---

When your pants suspect something. pic.twitter.com/v9a4pr8Ora

‘ You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) October 27, 2017

---

Weird promotion, but sure. pic.twitter.com/jVfAiIa8UP

‘ Starz (@Alanstarzinski) October 26, 2017