By: Mike Glazer
22 Delicious Tweets That Have Zero To Do With Politics

AWWWWW YEAAAHHHH! It ‘s a new year! Time to take the world by storm, and become who we ‘re meant to be cuz we ‘re coming into 2018 like ‘

YO i ‘m way too high………. if you work at a farm & your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender wow
‘ faithful dominican (@engxl) December 21, 2017
2 months, 2 restarts and a loss of my sanity later, I ‘m almost done. pic.twitter.com/c2uvt4Xwer
‘ Gurekbal Bhachu (@G_Singh_B) December 22, 2017
2018 startin out ROUGH for Nick pic.twitter.com/b8GQA9JQlb
‘ Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray (@lobbyspider) January 1, 2018
[on the phone] honey im at the store are we out of raccoon penis bones pic.twitter.com/2XFjQTsNox
‘ bobby (@bobby) December 23, 2017
Remember as days get colder, animals are attracted to the warmth of cars so check wheel arches or other hiding places. #ItsSoCold pic.twitter.com/idvsHOCT6H
‘ Trooper Ben (@TrooperBenKHP) December 28, 2017
I bought this potato just because I felt bad for it pic.twitter.com/b8MIPGDFAl
‘ brady zipoffs (VERIFlED) (@zipoffs) March 24, 2017
my dog got a haircut and now it looks like he gave up drinking. pic.twitter.com/ROatm9cl6v
‘ Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) December 17, 2017
Alien Pez dispenser. Awesome. pic.twitter.com/RlbJPtdwHU
‘ TODD SPENCE (@Todd_Spence) December 20, 2017
Made a huge mistake and ordered the mozzarella listening menu at Mozza. Should’ve gone with the tasting.
‘ Andr ‘s du Bouchet (@dubouchet) December 20, 2017
This is the most baller move of 2018, let alone 2017. Shut it down. @LiquidHbox pic.twitter.com/y8gcYTLSiv
‘ Arda ‘cal (@ArdaOcalTV) December 21, 2017
woW Gotye really disappeared off the face of the planet and literally became somebody that we used to know, iconic
‘ indie (@INDIEWASHERE) December 21, 2017
When you the last person in dodgeball pic.twitter.com/wCBwlp86og
‘ Boyz N The Society ‘ (@HeadGraphix) December 15, 2017
*receiving kiss of death* Cool, first base.
‘ John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) December 20, 2017
duane reade locked the candy section 🙁 pic.twitter.com/SqqTFVwk0X
‘ Kelly Weill (@KELLYWEILL) January 4, 2018
I told my girlfriend I wrote her a poem but it was just the theme song to King of Queens. pic.twitter.com/2B1H6n7XtX
‘ Mike Recine (@mikerecine) August 29, 2017
I ‘m “keep having to rewind Cheers ‘ stoned.
‘ Patrick Walsh (@thepatrickwalsh) December 17, 2017
watched a documentary about sex dolls and at the end one guy takes his doll skydiving pic.twitter.com/pQwn8SML69
‘ Joe Veix (@joeveix) January 1, 2018
Goofy [as an art critic]: gauche
‘ Mike RIPby (@MikeBigby) March 21, 2017
Why this cup about to bust pic.twitter.com/EquePhB2kT
‘ Tommy McNamara (@TommyMcNam) December 27, 2017
RIP cat who thought sunglasses would stop Medusa pic.twitter.com/lpHNuRGdJy
‘ Joe Saunders (@saundersjoe) October 5, 2017
One time I saw Sam Elliott sneeze in a restaurant and a frisbee fell out of his mustache.
‘ Steve Agee (@steveagee) December 30, 2017
good news everyone first keanu pic of 2018 pic.twitter.com/ufxYkjBSQ2
‘ bushra (@keanusreeve) January 2, 2018
And finally to 2017 ‘

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