By: Matt Harbert
Community | Front Page | Regular | Sketch | Source: WP All Import | UGC
How Much Coffee is Too Much?
I think this much is too much.
By: Matt Harbert
I think this much is too much.
Corey thinks she hangs up on Ryan, but he’s still on the line.
The Sienna SE. You get it for space. But fill it with your family ‘s swagger. To learn about the Sienna SE more visit http://www.toyota.com/sienna Special shout-out to Black Iris Music and makers of Yoo-hoo.* (LYRICS) [INTRO ‘ MOM AND DAD] Yeah This one goes out to all you minivan families out there. Sienna SE…in the house. Where my mother/fathers at? Where my kids at? Where my kids at? Where my kids at? Where my kids at? Where my kids at? Where my kids at? No, seriously honey ‘where are the kids? They’re right there, see? Oh, cool beans. [VERSE ‘ DAD] I roll hard through the streets and the cul-de-sacs, Proud parent of an honor roll student, Jack. I got a swing in the front, a tree house in the back, My #1 Dad mug says, “Yeah, I ‘m the Mack. ‘ [VERSE ‘ MOM] I’m the world’s best nurse when my kids get sick, I make a mean gel-mold, I perfected my tricks, Back when I used to party as a college chick. Now I’m cruising to their playdates lookin’ all slick… [CHROUS] In my Swagger Wagon, Yeah, the Swagger Wagon, It’s the Swagger Wagon, I got the pride in my ride. In my Swagger Wagon, Yeah, the Swagger Wagon, It’s the Swagger Wagon. [VERSE ‘ DAD] Check it… I love hangin’ with my daughter sippin’ tea, keep my pinky up, All the drawings on my fridge sport an A+. I’m an awesome parent, (Right!) and it’s apparent, (True!) And in this house there’s no mother/father swearin’. [VERSE ‘ MOM] Straight owning bake sales with my cupcake skills, I’m better with the money, so I handle the bills, And I always buy in bulk, ain’t afraid of no spills. Every Mother’s Day proves…I’m kind of a big deal. Daughter: Mommy, I need to go potty. Bring the beat back, ’cause, yo, I got more to say, You know I’m always front and center at the school play. I kiss their boo-boos, clean doggie doo-doos, Cut the crust off of PB&Js, chill the Yoo-hoos. [VERSE ‘ DAD] Singin’ “Farmer in the Dell” in perfect harmony, When I’m rollin’ with my posse in the HOV. We rock the SE, not an SUV, And it’s true, if I were you, I’d be jealous of me… [CHORUS] *YOO-HOO is a registered trademark of Mott’s LLP. All rights reserved.
Here’s to the guy on official police business.
With just one use, it’s the miracle pillow that STOPS snoring FOREVER!
This is a sketch about a loser who thinks he is following the law now by not using his hands while driving, as it is the new California law as of today, July 1st, 2008. HANDS FREE PEOPLE! What will you do with your two free hands now???
More Neil Diamond health and safety messages please