By: Brita

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10 Things You Can Buy If You Switch To Brita

This advertising content was produced in collaboration between Funny Or Die and our sponsor, without involvement from Funny Or Die ‘s editorial staff.

We get it; college is busy, you ‘re constantly on the go, what ‘s this weird growth, etc.

Just because you ‘re constantly hustling doesn ‘t mean you should be constantly spending money on bottled water. You could save up to $1,950 per year of college by using a Brita Stream instead of buying bottled water*! The Brita Stream Pitcher filters as you pour so you never have to wait for great tasting water.

By switching over to a Brita you can save up to buy the things that are really important in college – useless crap.

Here now is a list of things you could purchase from Craigslist with just one year of savings if you made the switch. Think of it as your water rebate program.

*Savings based on average retail price of a single count bottled water per ounce.

1) ‘Whizzer Pacemaker MotorBike- $1600

What you ‘re really paying for is the streamers.

Fulfill that lifelong dream of looking like Pee-Wee Herman with this wild little moped. Red bow tie sold separately.

2) An Above Ground Pool- $1735

Let ‘s make a whirlpool!

In ground pools are just a fancy way to say “hole in the ground. ‘ An above ground pool? That ‘s a magic trick, folks.

3) An Actual Fire Truck- $1900

Where ‘s the fire?

Imagine rolling up to a party in this bad boy! Once your friends ‘ realize that no one called the cops , you ‘ll be the hero that let ‘s them play on the ladder and pretend to be the station Dalmatian. Who needs a DJ airhorn when you have a literal siren?

4) Angus Bull- $1875

“Welcome. I ‘ve been expecting you. ‘

Bulls are multipurpose animals – companion, transportation and, if that doesn ‘t work out, dinner. They ‘re like dogs made of steak!

6) Multiple Burial Plots- $1769

“Yeah, I own some real estate in town ‘ ‘

College is where you learn to plan for the future; why not take care of the end of your life now? If you decide to be cremated, use the burial plots as storage units.

7) Coin Operated Horse Ride- $1925

“You like it? I named him Ginuwine. ‘

Have you ever tried to put a quarter in a real horse? They do not like it. This one does though. Plus it ‘s much cleaner and smells nicer. Think of it as a mechanical bull but a lot more polite.

8) A 4 ‘ Pennywise Statue- $600

“So ‘constipated ‘ ‘

If you ‘re the kind of person that feels like they need more nightmares in their sleepytime, may I present the solution – a hyper-detailed 4 ‘ tall statue of an otherworldly murder clown.

9) An Electric Bouzouki- $960

Kurt Cobain played a left-handed bouzouki.

Guitars are for basics, gang – if you want to stand out on campus, a bouzouki is where it ‘s at. Whip this out on the quad, play “Crash Into Me, ‘ and by the time you ‘re done you ‘ll be surrounded by people saying “what the hell is that thing you ‘re playing? ‘

10) A Waterslide- $1100

Filtered water only, DUH.

FACTS: Every day is a party when you own a waterslide. Even if you ‘re failing all your classes, you own a waterslide. Remember: you can ‘t slide down water that ‘s trapped in a bottle!

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