By: Funny Or Die
It ‘s important for us to periodically inform you of everything you need to know about the various things you ‘ll encounter in the roller coaster of life. While none of these facts will be true in “reality, ‘ they will always remain true in our hearts, and hopefully in yours too.
We post these on our instagram account (follow us!) and will keep this roundup up-to-date so you can delete all your bookmarks and replace it with this one page full of the only information you ‘ll ever need about anything!
LET ‘S DO THIS!
You think you know everything about ducks? Quick, what ‘s this duck ‘s name? Okay, so you don ‘t know everything about ducks. But you should. Don ‘t worry, we ‘ve got you covered. Now, not only will you be able to identify a duck by name, you ‘ll also know how to keep yourself safe around one.
Look, let ‘s face it. Calzones don ‘t get nearly enough love. But we ‘ve realized that that ‘s just because people don ‘t know enough about them! Maybe if we start to understand calzones, we ‘ll truly start to be able to treat them as equals.
Now this is one you probably think you already know everything about for sure. But you ‘re dead wrong, Ethan. Did you know “Onions ‘? Bet you didn ‘t. Better study up. Oh, and hey, Ethan? Don ‘t ever get that fucking cocky ever again.
Often misunderstood, or, depending on your point of view, properly understood as menaces to society. Love ’em or hate em, it ‘s time to know everything about ’em.
Look, it ‘s possible you know all this stuff about The Rock already. There ‘s a lot of information out there about The Rock. That ‘s fair. Maybe you ‘ll enjoy it anyway.
This one will blow your mind RIGHT OFF THE BAT with “Eggs were invented by the egg industry to sell eggs. ‘ No, that is NOT a conspiracy theory. That is FACT, BACKED BY SCIENCE. Read on for more hard-hitting #truth.
Butts are something it ‘s just really important to keep learning about. Without learning about butts, we can ‘t grow about butts. And butts are the most important thing we have. In fact, it ‘s important for us to keep learning about butts too, so if you know anything about butts that we don ‘t cover here, please let us know in the comments so we can continue to grow about butts.