Kylie Jenner Tried Milk and Cereal for the First Time, Changing Her Life, The World

last night i had cereal with milk for the first time. life changing.

‘ Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) September 19, 2018

Wow. This is an enormous event with many implications. I will attempt to walk us through some key takeaways.

When will the movie version of this story be released?

Details thus far are sparse, but we recently broke the news that it looks like it will be an HBO miniseries.

HBO is already working on a 6 part series where Scarlett Johansson is to play the cereal. https://t.co/bgOoPGRIzU

‘ Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) September 19, 2018

Will 6 episodes be enough to answer all our questions about this harrowing, life-changing journey? Probably not. But maybe we ‘ll get a second season. Cross your fingers.

What kind of cereal was it?

Who cares? HA! Just kidding. We all do. It was Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And apparently, it was “amazing. ‘

Cinnamon Toast Crunch. amazing https://t.co/9szGNV67ht

‘ Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) September 19, 2018

Incredible.

Why the fuck did it take a grown ass woman this long to eat fucking cereal?

Whoa. Uh… I ‘m sorry. Are you… mad? I don ‘t know why this would be upsetting to you…

We have investigated this, but so far the only evidence we have is this tweet that gives us no useful information whatsoever:

i always liked cereal dry i never bothered to put milk

‘ Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) September 19, 2018

We can only deduce that beyond this admission, no one else in her life “ever bothered ‘ to tell her it was an option? We ‘re currently following up with multiple sources to determine whether or not anyone has ever loved or cared about her, despite no one ever informing her of this basic information.

OMG she has a kid.

I know.

We contacted Child Protective Services for comment. They have not responded by the time this story was published. We will update here if they do.

UPDATE:

A representative from Child Protective Services issued the following statement just moments ago:

As long as we can be assured that Stormi will at some point be given a basic understanding of the world around her, we will stay out of this… for now.

Is everyone okay?

The world is reacting, and trying to process all this. People are doing their best.

this is the darkest tweet i ‘ve seen in my young life https://t.co/JLuBPZjvtE

‘ jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) September 19, 2018

i just wanna know what she was eating her cereal in before. caviar? dollar bills? kylie lip kits?

‘ soph (@sophiaslane) September 19, 2018

Wait till you try peanut butter and jam.

‘ Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) September 19, 2018

I just wanna know why the fuck “Kylie Jenner tries cereal with milk for the first time ‘ is the top news story on my feed… are we fucking serious? Lol

‘ Dylan Holland (@TheDylanHolland) September 19, 2018

Kylie Jenner is finally trying cereal with milk and I ‘m just over here like: pic.twitter.com/lXkRBS1vyV

‘ Tristan Tales (@tristantales) September 19, 2018

We will of course update this developing story as soon as more information comes in. If you have any information regarding this matter, please let us know in the comments. Thank you.

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Kylie just admitted she tried cereal for the first time and now she wants to start her own brand

A post shared by Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) on Sep 19, 2018 at 2:09pm PDT

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