100 Moments We Can ‘t Believe The Gallaghers Made It Through
100 Moments We Can ‘t Believe The Gallaghers Made It Through
1. Frank amputating Debbie ‘s toes – the love between a father and daughter toes no bounds.
2. Ian sleeping with a man and the man ‘s wife to get funding for a shelter. Can ‘t believe Kickstarter let him list that as a reward.
3. Frank entering a domestic partnership with a guy for free healthcare and becoming the face of the gay rights movement. Not with that haircut henny!!
4. Lip giving Frank a golden shower that would make Donald Trump envious.
5. Frank ‘s kids throwing him off a bridge. If all your friends were throwing their dads off bridges would you?
6. Sheila smothering Grammy Gallagher with a pillow and killing her. She even sits on the pillow to get the job done. Surely not the first time someones died via face sitting.
7. Kevin and Lip running an ice cream truck as a drug cover. Ironically, this left the neighborhood drug house as the only place to get ice cream.
8. Sheila sleeping with not one but TWO men her daughter slept with. Who needs Tinder when you can have your daughter ‘s sloppy seconds?
9. The Gallaghers getting a bulldozer to dig up their dead mother so they can give the meth in her coffin to a dealer. After digging her up, the meth falls out like she ‘s an X-Rated pinata.
10. Debbie stealing high-end baby carriages to sell online. You can find them on http://www.EtsyForDirtbags.com.
11. Frank getting the alarm codes from Liam ‘s rich friends so he could rob them.
12. Frank hiding in a port-a-potty when police chase after him. Good ol ‘ Frank – always finding himself in deep shit.
13. Carl getting circumcised hoping to finally get a blow job from Dom. Turns out Dom has gonorrhea sooooo his foreskin was gonorrhea for nothing.
14. Frank tracking down his daughter in hopes she will give him a liver and then dry humping her leg because she ‘s attracted to him and doesn ‘t know Frank is her dad. But she ‘s technically a Gallagher so knowing that probably wouldn ‘t have changed anything.
15. Debbie seeking advice from Carl on how to have lesbian sex. “One in the pink. Two in the stink. ‘ That ‘s some shocking advice.
16. Frank smuggling immigrants over the Canadian border: “I want you to know, just because you look like terrorists doesn ‘t mean you should be treated like them. ‘
17. His real crime through? Letting the immigrant sing Justin Bieber ‘s “Baby ‘ as they make their trek through the forest towards the border.
18. Fiona giving up Tinder. WHAT? HOW? NO! Don ‘t worry, she downloaded it again. Then deleted it. Then downloaded it. Then deleted it. Fiona, she ‘s just like us. But with weirder sex.
19. Frank ‘s family from the homeless shelter throwing him out a window after discovering he was spending their money on ribeye steaks. What is it about Frank that makes him so throwable?
20. Carl going to juvie and leaving ‘WHITE BOY CARL. ‘
21. WHITE BOY CARL selling guns to students and teachers out of a handicap bathroom at school. A move that would make the NRA ‘s Dana Loesch proud.
22.Debbie attempting to trap Derrek by telling him she ‘s on the pill and then getting pregnant. She keeps the baby; Derek, not so much.
23. Debbie drowning a ‘slut ‘ who called her flat chested.
24. Lip having a full on Mrs. Robinson affair with his teacher. Turns out he ‘s pretty good at Sex Ed!
25. HIPSTERS: they ‘re everywhere! The Gallaghers surviving gentrification by…well, being the Gallaghers.
26. Frank convincing Carl he has cancer and sending him to ‘cancer camp ‘ so he can steal a signed NBA basketball online from Make-a-Wish for big bucks. That ‘s some Doctor Doom level planning.
27. Frank masturbating on his dead girlfriend ‘s grave. Talk about loving someone to death.
28. Debbie luring a baby away from a birthday party with candy because she wants a Barbie to play with. That must have been some damn good candy.
29. In a surprisingly productive move; Grammy Gallagher teaches Carl to make meth. How nice, a family business!
30. Carl shooting a Bald Eagle for the most American Thanksgiving dinner. It went great with their baked flag and baseball pie.
31. Frank sleeping with the parent of his liver donor. Gotta make sure those genes are compatible.
32. Frank becoming a drug mule for a cartel and earning the nickname ‘El Gran Canon ‘ because of his cavernous asshole. “El Gran Canon, you ‘re already a legend ‘you have more coke up your ass than any drug mule in cartel history! ‘
33. Fiona testifying in court to gain custody of the Gallagher kids. Don ‘t worry, kids, Dad will always find you when he needs booze money.
34. Lip smashing his teacher ‘s car windows with a baseball bat all Lemonade style.
35. Frank stopping his grandchild from crying by coating his mouth with valium. And every pharmaceutical lobbyist seeing this idea in action.
36. Lip dressing like a 15 year old and having sex with a sex offender to prove she ‘s a pedophile. Like most pedophiles she ‘s disappointed to learn he ‘s actually 18.
37. Debbie gluing her foster mom ‘s eyes shut while she sleeps. There ‘s nothing like some good shut eye.
38. Carl poisoning his cousin Patrick with rat poison. Talk about a toxic relationship.
39. When the poison doesn ‘t kill Patrick, Debbie tells the cops that he molested her thus getting rid of Patrick for good. You don ‘t mess with the Gallaghers!
40. Frank losing Liam by gambling he could get tased without feeling pain. Looks like…they both felt pain that day.
41. Fiona sleeping with her boyfriend ‘s brother. Eskimo brothers! Literally.
42. Frank kidnapping an Alzheimer patient to pose as Aunt Ginger. Even though she has no idea where or who she is, she still makes a better role model than Frank.
43. A surgeon from the black market removing Frank ‘s kidney instead of performing a liver transplant. Opps!
44. Fiona serving time in prison after violating her probation. Like brother, like sister.
45. Carl stealing an electric wheelchair from an old man and pulling the sympathy card to pick up chicks. Carl ‘s got game.
46. Frank waking up naked on a picnic table to find an art class drawing him. Make sure you capture the lack of shame, class!
47. Chuckie pooping on Sheila ‘s coffee table. Coffee (tables) make him poop.
48. Carl going down on girl after girl at Debbie ‘s pool party. I mean, to be an expert at something you have to put in 10,000 hours.
49. Frank prostituting his daughter for brewery equipment. Isn ‘t this also how Apple got its start?
50. Frank accidentally blowing up Sheila ‘s house. That ‘s just an honest mistake people!
51. Pigeons making Frank their public restroom while he sleeps on a public monument.
52. Fiona returning a pocketbook but keeping the cash. Never work for free!
53. Ian begging Mickey not to get married. The tax breaks aren ‘t even worth it.
54. Fiona pulling an Ariana Grande by marrying a guy she ‘s known for two weeks. He had BDE – Big Drug Energy.
55. Frank having sex with Lip ‘s ex girlfriend. She films it and the tape goes venereal, I mean, viral.
56. Sammi chasing Frank with a knife after he lies about buying her a new trailer.
57. Ian starring in a porno for money. Two more pornos and he ‘ll have to join SAG.
58. Carl agreeing to protect his nephew in exchange for condoms and nunchucks. Always wondered if the condoms were for the nunchucks ‘
59. Ian stealing his boyfriend ‘s baby. But really, stealing is just confused borrowing if you think about it.
60. Mickey coming out and the fight that followed. It was so bad Mickey almost went back in the closet.
61. Sheila marrying Frank while he ‘s in a coma. The first-look pictures were disappointing to say the least.
62. Carl throwing a toaster into the pool where Ian is relaxing. Shock therapy!
63. Prisoners tattooing a Charles Manson type swastika tattoo on Chuckie ‘s forehead. That ‘ll be tough to explain at a job interview.
64. Frank banging Dottie to death. Ok, technically the banging isn ‘t what kills her. It ‘s the fact she doesn ‘t receive a heart transplant but this is also Frank ‘s fault! He doesn ‘t tell Dottie she won the transplant lottery because he hopes he ‘s in her will. He ‘s not.
65. Ian burning his entire hand on a hot grill. What a shame; if he would have taken it off 30 seconds earlier it would have been a perfect medium rare.
66. A plane crashing on Sheila ‘s lawn right as she was overcoming her agoraphobia. Interesting since she already hangs out with train wrecks.
67. Frank sticking Sean ‘s toothbrush in his ass and peeing in Sean ‘s boots. The Gallaghers are a family that find themselves pissed on as often as they ‘re pissed off.
68. The Gallaghers witnessing Frank walking around the house in his dead girlfriend ‘s panties. But still better than finding Frank in his dead girlfriend.
69. Debbie losing her flour baby on the train. Good thing she still had her yeast niece.
70. Frank unbuttoning Debbie ‘s shirt to help her seduce a guy. That ‘s a mom ‘s job but sometimes a father has to be both parents, ya know?
71. Carl basically getting waterboarded by drug lords. Basically, as in, he does.
72. Monica stealing the squirrel fund. In fairness, it was for emergencies, and Monica had an emergency – she needed drugs.
73. Chuckie writing a school essay titled ‘Mein Kampf. ‘ The essay is pro-nazi and about how Hitler is a great leader. His teacher said ‘Nein Kampf. ‘
74. Mickey rescuing Ian from the club. “I ‘m not having fun, I ‘ve spent the whole day looking for your coked out ass. ‘
75. Fiona selling her engagement ring from Gus. Turns out Gus ‘ grandma snuck the ring out of Nazi Germany in her vagina, the preferred shipping method of World War II.
76. Lip getting alcohol poisoning. At least it ‘s not rat poisoning.
77. Frank mud wrestling in his underwear. At least it wasn ‘t his dead girlfriend ‘s underwear.
78. Ian using Lip ‘s name to enlist in the military. Be all you can be in the Army. For example: be someone else.
79. Frank huffing super glue. Shocking as we ‘d pegged him as a classic Elmer ‘s kind of dirtbag.
80. Debbie getting arrested for shoplifting. Thank god the mall cop was Paul Blart.
81. Frank lighting a homeless shelter on fire. I guess he assumed if anyone can get over losing a home, it ‘s someone who doesn ‘t haven one.
82. Ian pepper spraying Frank in the face. He could have sprayed him in the ass but it ‘s not as effective.
83. Debbie stealing her baby back from her baby daddy ‘s family. Baby got back!
84. Frank recruiting Carl to break his leg in the hopes of receiving insurance money to pay for a liver transplant. Healthcare really does cost an arm and a leg.
85. Frank spiking his kids ‘ drinks with molly. They ‘re more of a ketamine family!
86. Carl and Sean walking home in their underwear after trading their clothes to G Dog for Carl ‘s freedom from the drug business. That ‘s…a pretty good deal actually.
87. Ian becoming Gay Jesus when we all know Gay Jesus is actually Jonathan Van Ness.
88. Carl starting a drug detox program consisting of him locking people in his basement. Hey, it works if you work it.
89. Fiona finding a dog eating its owner ‘s dead body. How do you recover from that? Asking for my dog.
90. Fiona getting a strip tease. Worst Off-Broadway show ever.
91. Debbie welding an asshole ‘s porsche to a dumpster. Talk about having junk in the trunk.
92. Ian performing miracles AKA blowing up a van. Just like in the Bible!
93. Liam eating the cocaine Fiona left out. Liammmm…that coke was for Santa Claus!
94. Sheila revealing her husband had a funny bump on his penis because she was too rough. The bump was so funny it ‘s now a comedy headliner in Vegas.
95. Liam begging for money and telling passersby he is a orphan from Africa with AIDS. They start so young. Soon he ‘ll graduate to shamming people on Go Fund Me.
96. Fiona dragging Frank like a rag doll down the stairs and punting him out the door. WHAT. IS. IT. THAT. MAKES. FRANK. SO. THROWABLE.
97. Frank paying a hitman to kill Sean. Some things just need an expert ‘s touch.
98. Fiona cutting off her house arrest bracelet and throwing it in the trash. It clashed with her dress!
99. Technically V and Kevin aren ‘t Gallaghers but they ‘ve had some Shameless moments we might as well highlight. Kevin and V making porn based on Sally Hemings and Thomas Jefferson. But did they buy the life rights?
100. V using her mom as a surrogate. But when the turkey baster doesn ‘t work V has Kevin bang her mom while she watches. The result? Kevin is now literally a mother fucker.