By: Best Of The Web
Van Pimpenstein – Duct Tape Song
We all know the world has lots of problems on the rise; climate change, racism, and political division. But what if all we needed to fix it all… was a little bit of Duct Tape?
Van Pimpenstein brings us his latest comedy song that makes us think that perhaps we ‘re overthinking these huge problems we see all around us. Because all the money in the world can ‘t buy you happiness, but a $1.45 can get you a roll of Duct Tape at Walmart and maybe that ‘s all you need.
Music by: Van Pimpenstein
Video by: Raf Bonilla
We all need water and air to survive
And nutrients from our chewing tobacco and Colt 45
Some say we need love, friendship, even pain.
Others trust in money, but I think that ‘s insane. ‘
I only need, one thing to survive
And I can find it at Walmart for a $1.45
Talking about duct tape. You can bandage up a cut. ‘
Talking about duct tape. ‘You can fix that crack in your butt.
Talking about duct tape. ‘There ain ‘t nothing you can do. ‘
So quit your job, live your life and go buy a roll or two. ‘ ‘
I wake up in the morning and put on my duct tape shoes.
I walk down my duct tape steps and read the latest news. ‘ ‘
I think of all the problems, the world has to face. ‘
And how I can solve them all, with a couple rolls of tape. ‘ ‘
I could build the homeless some houses and put some clothes on their backs.
And fill their bellies with duct tape, it ‘s my personal favorite snack. ‘
I could save all the trees, I ‘d just build a big duct tape fence. ‘ ‘
And I could do all that for $50.17
Bring me all your problems, big, medium, small.
And a couple rolls of duct tape and I will solve them all. ‘
Now as for all your separatism. ‘All the racists and all the hate. ‘ ‘
Your politics and your money ain ‘t gonna fix ’em, they just can ‘t.
I say we wrap everybody in duct tape, all the whites and all the blacks. ‘
The reds, oranges, greens and purples and the mixes of this and that. ‘
Then we ‘ll all be the same color, a beautiful shade of gray. ‘
And they ‘ll be no reason to fuss or fight ’cause we ‘ll all be the same.