By: Sloane Hughes
On Tuesday, the non-profit organization PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals but in reality should stand for People who are Exceptionally Terrible Always, did exactly what we ‘ve all come to expect from them and spewed more utterly ridiculous bullshit that accomplishes absolutely nothing into the universe in the name of animal rights.
Because of-fucking-course they did.
I ‘ll give credit where credit is due, though, so I will acknowledge that through their efforts, they have managed to bring people from all sorts of ideologies together. Omnivorous, vegan, pescatarian, we are all united by one thing.
We all fucking hate PETA.
The hill the organization is choosing to die on this time is particularly batshit crazy, and I can ‘t decide if it ‘s more hilarious or infuriating, so let ‘s say it ‘s an even 50/50 split. According to PETA, anti-animal language such as “kill two birds with one stone ‘ is the next cause to take up in the fight for animal rights.
Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves along with it. Here ‘s how to remove speciesism from your daily conversations. pic.twitter.com/o67EbBA7H4
‘ PETA: Bringing Home the Bagels Since 1980 (@peta) December 4, 2018
“Words matter ‘ yes because you ‘re definitely going to hurt the feelings of the pigeon outside your office if he catches you saying ‘kill two birds with one stone ‘
It doesn ‘t end there though. No no. PETA actually fucking said that this is on par with racist, homophobic, and ableist language. One more time,
PETA thinks saying “bring home the bacon ‘ is just as bad as racism
The silver lining of this unbelievably idiotic cloud is the responses PETA has received to these two tweets are wonderful. Some were funny, some called out the organization for not actually doing anything meaningful and for killing animals themselves, and some replies were a nice blend of both.
Here are a few of our faves.
Let he without sin throw the first scone
‘ Trey R Mason (@TreyRMason) December 5, 2018
Omg my cat was JUST telling me how offensive these phrases were to her.
‘ Laraine Pennington (@LaraineBaker) December 5, 2018
peta rethink this pic.twitter.com/NFgWwziypi
‘ Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant) December 5, 2018
“Tweak my beet.”
‘ Art Garflunkie (@ArtGangel) December 5, 2018
@ PETA focusing on metaphors instead of actual animal rights issues pic.twitter.com/0TneKze1Hw
‘ ?? ?? ? (@vegan_princesss) December 5, 2018
me: maybe they'll actually say something intelligent this time
peta: saying “bring home the bacon” is the same as racism and homophobia
‘ gracie hoos (@cottoncandaddy) December 5, 2018
Instead of saying “Kill 2 birds with 1 stone” Say “As of 2014 PETA euthanized 81% of the animals at its shelters.”
‘ Hana Michels (@HanaMichels) December 5, 2018
The B Team is a U.S. government black-ops strike force composed of the most poorly chosen supervillains ever: Sloth, Dr. Evil, The Wet Bandits, Tony Perkis, Gollum, Shooter McGavin, King Koopa, The Grinch, Winifred The Witch, Mrs. Doubtfire, Simon Phoenix, Beetlejuice, Griff Tannen, and Terl.
Bill Clinton was finally verified on Twitter and is ready to rock. Here’s a taste of his first batch of tweets.
They bring home a brand new baby. All they have to do is put it to bed. Guest Writer: Mark Kendall Guest Starring Deborah Childs Filmed by Neil Logan Butler “Melodie Victoria” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)