By: Sloane Hughes
Have you ever looked at an airplane and thought to yourself,
“Hmmm. Not enough diamonds ‘
Yeah. Neither have I. But we all got one anyway, why? Because it ‘s a fuckin ‘ diamond covered airplane, so obviously things like practicality and necessity and the laws of aerodynamics were already out the window from the start. That ‘s fine though, who needs logic when you ‘ve got ?? d i a m o n d s ??
So based on that thinking, on December 4th Sara Shakeel, an artist known for making things sparkly, took a your average, non-jewel covered Emirates Airline plane and, forgive me if my artistic language isn ‘t exactly right here,
bedazzled the ever-loving shit out of it.
Presenting the Emirates ‘Bling ‘ 777. Image created by Sara Shakeel pic.twitter.com/zDYnUZtIOS
‘ Emirates Airline (@emirates) December 4, 2018
Finally, a way to experience what it ‘s like to actually BE the disco ball on the ceiling
Before we go any further let me just confirm for you that this is not real. This plane isn ‘t actually diamond-studded, this capitalist hell-scape we all live in hasn ‘t spun that wildly out of control yet. But isn ‘t it wild that, honestly, if it WAS real it wouldn ‘t even be that shocking? (Especially because it ‘s an Emirates plane. Like, c ‘mon, if any airline is gonna cover their planes with gems it ‘s them)
What does that say about us as a society? About our materialism? Our vain need for extravagance? Above any of that, I ‘ll tell you what it means. It means our priorities and our expectations are severely skewed.
Oh, wait you probably think I ‘m talking about the diamonds. No, no.
I ‘m talking about airlines.
I had to do a bit of searching around to see if this Swavroski-style plane was real or not, because it ‘s not unbelievable. You know what was unbelievable though? When my flight to LAX actually took off on time instead of sitting on the tarmac like a giant metal corpse for 45 minutes. That was a flight figuratively covered in diamonds. A real rare gem. Checking in with the airline, though, they charged me twice for my luggage, couldn ‘t figure out how to refund me, and then didn ‘t “activate ‘ my luggage tags, so when I finally got over to the bag-drop before security, the guy pushing the button on the conveyer belt said he couldn ‘t scan my barcode, and sent me back to the check-in desk I was just fucking at. I was sent back and forth between the desk and the bag-drop TWO MORE TIMES for a myriad of reasons and the whole thing took literally half an hour and a piece of my soul with it.
And I just took it, I was pissed but I took it, because as we all know flying is a nightmare and will suck the life out of you, a three hour flight will age you 30 goddamn years, and this is just SOMEHOW THE NORM.
After being so ready to believe than an actual physical AIRPLANE that FLIES THROUGH THE AIR was DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED, I will not rest until the idea of having a travel experience that doesn ‘t make you want to open the emergency exit mid flight is equally believable.
You hear that, airlines of the world? Get bedazzling
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