By: Sloane Hughes
Ah, Costco. The land of plenty.
Endless free samples, the best and simultaneously worst hotdogs $1.50 can buy, and so many things in bulk that you didn ‘t even know could be bought in bulk. Whatever the need, Costco has never failed to provide.
So I guess it was only a matter of time before they saw the direction things are going (that direction being downward, very fast, like a bullet train off a cliff) and made some updates to their products.
For the low, low price of $89.99, you can now buy a bucket of macaroni and cheese that clocks in at 27lbs.
A few years ago I would ‘ve looked at this and said
I think the fuck not ‘
But here we are, it ‘s 2019, a lot has gone down, and desperate times call for desperate measure….ments of pasta.
This colossal container of mac and cheese called Chef ‘s Banquet (seems like way too nice of a description but ok) is listed under the Emergency Kits & Supplies section of Costco, because that is for sure the only department that warrants 27 fucking pounds of mac. This is so much goddamn macaroni that after you ‘ve finally finished the bucket you could almost go full Luke Skywalker on Hoth and crawl right inside it for shelter.
It ‘s advertised with a shelf life of 20 years, which is generous because let ‘s be real, there ‘s no fuckin ‘ way we ‘re gonna make it past 15 before you ‘re gonna have to crack pop that baby open because we ‘re all living in a post-apocalyptic Mad Max wasteland featuring Trump as Immortan Joe.
Just give him some time to grow that hair out.
The good news is that when everything finally goes to shit, macaroni and cheese is a great comfort food and eating your feelings might help ease you through armageddon. The bad news is, it ‘s already sold out on the Costco site, but it might be available in limited quantities on eBay or Amazon for a higher price. Get it while you can! Who knows when you ‘re gonna need a bucket of mac and cheese.